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Resigning to Acceptance 11/15/2007 9:27:29 AM
Originally Posted on June 25, 2007 Resigning to Acceptance
Reaching the ultimate finish line and finding the golden treasure chest, that’s acceptance. Acceptance is the last stage in the Five Stages of Grief. It’s the stage where you can move on to accomplish your goals and indulge in personal growth. Acceptance is reaching a sense of peace with the your present situation.
For grandparents raising their grandchildren, many will argue that acceptance began the day the child walked into the house. Maybe it did for some. Resignation refers to giving in without resistance. It’s evident that you agreed for your grand to come into your home. Surrendering to do what was best for the child. Was it acceptance reaching that peaceful position? Or resignation yielding to what was right and secretly harvesting the four stages of grief? Many are in denial for this stage, thinking once the child arrived, acceptance was obtained.
I agreed for my sweet grand to stay with me—no doubt in my mind. But,I held on to the concept that my own child would get his act together and return. It never happened. At times, I found myself planning vacations during odd times of the year and I had to remind myself I could not go because my grandchild was in school. The concept hit me hard to move back to New York. Then, I remembered I left The Big Apple, in the first place, to give my grand a slower pace in life.
January 2, 2006 reality hit me like a ton of bricks. My son left the second time, after pleads, for him to stay, not for me, but for his sanity and safety and for his child. He left, insisting he would return. I knew he wouldn’t. And, finally I didn’t care. I wholeheartedly accepted his departure and embraced by my new role. I reached full acceptance and reprimanded myself for wasting valuable effort and energy.
Now all vacation plans are made during summer, Christmas and spring break. When the concept of relocating back to New York emerged, I considered putting my grand in private school and /or researching the school systems of the neighborhood I wanted to reside. Now, It’s first nature to include her in everything, I have truly accepted my new life. I have the ability to move on with positive goals for me and for her.
Leir Williford
Voice of the Eyes
www.leirw.com
Posted by Leir Williford at 6:07 PM 0 comments
