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THE MOON IS ROQUEFORT 5/22/2010 5:45:45 AM
A very impressionable teenager in high school in Norfolk, VA, I was deliriously in love with a delectable fourteen-year-old damsel named Betty. My short stories were appearing in Seventeen Magazine, I was failing both Latin III and geometry, and I was making more money faster and with less effort than I ever would again. Life was good. Surreal but good.
Fate began having its way when Betty cast me aside, the editor at Seventeen lost interest in me as well, my grades picked up, and my parents issued the unkindest cut of all by moving us north to Western New York. The first day I arrived—-it was a cold, grim and wet autumn night=—I said to my dad, “The day I graduate, I’m outta here!”
That was in 1947. It would not be until a morning in mid-May 1993-—45 years and seven months later—that I would escape.
Betty, of course, became a dim memory as the years passed—but, lo and behold, one day in 2008 I got an email from her! She was, as I, now a great-grandparent many times over; we are both septuagenarians, and, let me tell you, a lot of soap had gotten wedged under our respective wedding rings since those hot summers in Norfolk!
We correspond regularly now via email, and recently she sent a couple essays I found interesting enough to share here. For example, did you know Communion was celebrated on the moon? Yeah, it really was!
I was in July 1969. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were gallivanting on the lunar surface when Aldrin produced a couple of small pouches. One contained a consecrated wafer and the other a small quantity of Communion wine. Over the radio back to NASA, the Landing Module pilot said, “I'd like to take this opportunity to ask every person listening in, whoever and wherever they may be, to pause for a moment and contemplate the events of the past few hours and to give thanks in his or her own way."
He clicked off at that point and opened his plastic pouches, which held the bread and wine. He poured the wine into a chalice his pastor had given him, and in the 1/6th gravity of the moon, the wine slowly curled up the side of the cup. At that point, Aldrin recited some Scripture: “I am the vine, you are the branches. Whosoever abides in Me will bring forth much fruit. Apart from Me, you can do nothing.”
Years later Aldrin said, “I had intended to read my Communion passage from John back to earth, but at the last minute Armstrong stopped me, reminding me that NASA had requested that I not do this. They were already embroiled in a legal battle with a Madalyn Murray O'Hare, the celebrated opponent of religion, over the Apollo 8 crew reading from Genesis while orbiting the moon at Christmas. I agreed reluctantly.”
So, Edwin Eugene ‘Buzz’ Aldrin ate the tiny Host and sipped the wine. He gave thanks for the ingenuity and foresight that had brought the two young pilots to the Sea of Tranquility. There they were, 250,000 miles from home, and one of them was taking Communion and reciting verses from the Bible. “It was interesting for me to think,” he went on to say, “the very first liquid ever poured on the moon, and the very first food eaten there, were the Communion elements.” (It probably means nothing, but it’s interesting to note that Aldrin’s mother’s maiden name was ‘Moon.’)
I find it rather profound, however, that everyone remembers “One giant step for Mankind,” but so few connect the event with Dante, who said it is “love that moves the Sun and other stars.”Betty concluded that email with the thought, “Who knew? They never taught us this in high school Science.”
As a post script my old paramour added, “Here’s some other stuff I bet you didn’t know:
In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb.'
Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. Its rule book stated 'Gentlemen Only . . . Ladies Forbidden' and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Aba daba do!
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the U.S. Treasury. (We never had to bail out Hasbro, did we?)
Men read smaller print than women can--but women can hear better.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska.
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%. The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%.
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400.
The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000.
People with the highest IQ have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The first novel ever written on a typewriter was ‘The Adventures of Tom Sawyer’ by Mark Twain (who never learned to type beyond two fingers.)
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David; Hearts – Charlemagne; Clubs -Alexander, the Great; Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
111,111,111 X 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. (Hmmm. How are Stonewall Jackson and Little Sorrel portrayed?)
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4: John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the others signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? A. The place where they were born.
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? A. ‘Obsession.’
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go before you would find the letter 'A'? A. 1,000 (One thous ‘A’ nd)
What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? A. All were invented by women.
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey.
Q. On which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year? A. Father's Day.
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase: 'Goodnight, sleep tight'
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because the calendar back then was lunar-based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the ‘honeymoon.’
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in olde England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.' It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'
Many years ago, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.
78.3% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
Do not delete the following just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.. Amzanig huh?
As my neighbor Jeff Foxworthy might say, “You know you’re living in Georgia when . . .
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards sine 1998.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You email the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that you don't know their email addresses.
6. You pull up in your driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone can come out to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a Web site at the bottom of the screen.
8.. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
11. You tilt your head sideways to smile. : )
12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing. (Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to copy and forward this blog.)
14. You’re enjoying this so much you never noticed there are no #9 and #13 on this list.
15. You actually are scrolling back up to check that #9 and #13 are really missing.”
Hold on! Are you really trying to lick your elbow?
