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POLL CATS 10/30/2010 5:58:47 AM
For reasons only they can sort out, some of my friends and relatives get their jollies by sending me frequent e-mails of a religious or political nature, seemingly unaware that these inane diatribes usually get relegated to the Spam File and are rarely if ever delivered, opened or read. Software well worth its minuscule cost intercepts this debris and spares me the unnecessary frustration of wading through and deleting questionable material that is neither enlightening nor interesting, factual, entertaining nor amusing.
Occasionally, however, a well-disguised piece slips through, and one from my son recently did. When I informed him it was bogus and inept, he wrote back indignantly, saying, “I thought you were a Republican and would enjoy seeing this!”
When I responded, I assured him (as he should have known notwithstanding his longtime affiliation with Eastman Kodak) I am neither a Republican nor a Democrat, nor, for that matter, a Libertarian, an Independent, a Tea-Partier, a Rastafarian, a Hari Krista nor a Black Panther. I remain, as always, simply an American.
“Well, like what does that mean, Pop? What are you? I mean, really, like what are you?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Let me think on it. You want to see my birth certificate?” I was born in Ohio, but a lot of people think I’m from Texas.
Upon reflection, I concluded I am a Moderately Conservative Liberal. Or, a Liberally Conservative Moderate. Or a Conservatively Liberal Moderate. Something like that.
Although I believe all women are solely in charge of their own bodies and accountable singly for their actions, I do not accept abortion as a means of birth control, except in cases of rape and incest; I am against the death penalty, unless it is the result of crimes like the recent obscenity in Connecticut.
I think the NRA is a gross absurdity administered by idiots and endorsed by fools; the ACLU is as valuable as the coin toss before a football game, an effort that statistically should come up 50% heads or 50% tails (it doesn’t; inexplicably, heads prevails)—-and after all, having a .500 batting average or throwing a 95 mph slider will assure you a MLB contract worth millions. The ACLU has little to do with that or anything else. It serves a purpose, I suppose, but even that is arguable.
Every illegal alien case should be adjudicated solely on the individual merits of the case.
Pedophilia is a disease worse than cancer, Alzheimer’s, or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Its victims are the essence of innocence; the afflicted should be held without release until a permanent cure is found. Pedophilia is a disease, a natural occurrence, not a crime—-somewhat like homosexuality.
I couldn’t care less if lesbians get married or if gays serve in the military As General Patton once said, “No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his.” (Whether you’re gay or straight, a bullet or an IED has no sexual preference.)
Beyond that, I more or less go with the flow. Live and let live, as 007 would say.
Get real. Knowing our penchant for tradition and the status quo, Tea Partiers, like America Firsters and John Birchers, will eventually collapse of their own weight and disintegrate. Their rhetoric may be inspiring, but their idols have feet of clay.
I voted in the last election for Barack Obama simply because he was the best person vying for the job. The other choices were terrible. Period; end of discussion; case closed.
Will I vote for him in 2012? I have no idea. It all depends on who his opposition is and what the true and honest issues are. Until then, he has my total red, white and blue allegiance as the President and Commander-in-Chief. I leave the whining and maligning to tendentious and well-paid but misinformed media types and those who are intrigued by stupid and bogus e-mails.
Paradoxically, all things considered, any jack-wagon running on the Fair Tax platform could easily be elected in 2012, even if his opponents claim he is an axe murderer. And, given the chance, they probably will. The negativity of today will not be lost in the fog of tomorrow.
But on Tuesday November 2 this year there will be a midterm election, and the Democrats may or may not lose control of the House and the Senate. If they do, so what? What sort of sea change will occur? If they don’t, so what? Will anything monumental be altered? Come on!
One way or the other, you are teetering on the very precipice of naiveté if you suspect any differences will be noted in the immediate future.
Of course, a lot of old millionaires could lose their jobs and curious perks. (BFD.) And a lot of new ones could be taking fresh oaths of office. (Bigger BFD) Unfortunately, the best and brightest will be few and far between—-and most of the defeated cannon fodder will never be heard from again. Thank God.
But amazingly, the political scenarios of 1948 and 1992 could be déjà vu all over. In any event, you will wake up Wednesday morning with the same joys and frustrations you went to bed with Tuesday night, no matter who is wallowing in the spoils of victory. Downsize the bureaucracy, cut taxes, restore liberty, repeal health care reform? Right.
Does your vote then make a difference? You betcha your bottom dollar it does! In this country, only you, as an individual, can make a difference, even if the difference is rarely visible. Lincoln was right when he talked about this being a government of the people, for the people and by the people. You are the person he was talking about, even if you think there is too much government to go around—which there always has been and always will be. Voting is the only way we have that makes “government” what we think we want it to be, even if it never is.
But that’s the trouble with us Americans: we want our cake without the necessity of ingesting it, if you get my drift. Our republic may have its flaws, but it’s the best system on earth.
Here’s how the system should work: if you are a Republican and you think their kind has the right stuff, vote for them. If you’re a Democrat and you think their slate offers what’s best for you and your country, vote for them. If you are of the Tea Party persuasion, cast your ballot for their “candidettes,” as Stephen Colbert calls them. Independents, it seems, will vote for whomever they see as like-thinkers. (Libertarians, on the other hand, rarely vote for their party’s own candidates. Go figure.)
Or if you’re like me and you truly vote your conscience, go down the list name-by-name and carefully select the ones you think (without in-law and outlaw influence) are best equipped to keep America on the straight and narrow-—everything it was meant to be, while we suck our thumbs and hope for the best. American politics, after all, is a game and campaigns are like playing the lottery: you pick a bunch of numbers—-and pray for a big payoff. Even if God and the odds are against you.
You feel lucky this time?
All that matters is that you get out and vote—and it makes not a tinker’s damn for whom you vote. I know . . . it’s a pain in the buttinski to go down to the polls, usually at a church, library, school gym, town hall, fire station or other run-down, smelly and unair-conditioned venue, find a parking space, stand in line with other wild-eyed citizens, show a bored attendant your driver’s license with its idiotic photo ID, and then try to figure out how to manipulate the ballot thing—-and hope you’re doing what’s right.
The day of “Internet” voting may be just around the corner (or is that being too Progressive?).
The most fun I ever had voting was in 2008, when a TV reporter approached me as I was opening my car. “Can I ask you who you voted for today?” she inquired. “Sure,” I replied, “Calvin Coolidge.”
“Who?”
“Calvin Coolidge.”
“Who’s he?”
“Greatest president we ever had,” I lied.
“Oh.” She scribbled something on her pad and moved on to another victim.
I have come to the conclusion the toughest part of all is remembering to remove that absurd “I Voted Today!” sticker from my lapel. I think this time I’ll leave it on—right next to the “I Got My Flu Shot Today!” sticker. It’s my own personal Medal of Honor.
