Do I envy the staff?
(Please, don’t make me laugh!)
It’s such an odd protuberance
Shown off with extreme male exuberance!
I will say it is mostly multifunctional,
‘Though it can cause men to be so damned dysfunctional!
It’s a shape-changer, it can so mislead ...
And the cold oft causes it to hastily recede.
A gentle touch, or a promising word,
Makes it expand – why, it’s almost absurd!
Do I envy this rod, this shaft, this pole?
No, but I will say it definitely has its role.
Looks nice on those statues in the square --
Adds something to those ads for men’s underwear.
Jocks need them for something to itch ...
Don Juan used his to successfully bewitch.
I don’t want my own, don’t want the mess ...
(But I like my husband’s I have to confess!)