Be careful, don’t venture out too far
In the murky waters of Office Politics.
Sharks swim here who love to spar
With those naive of office rules and antics.

There’s the queen, holding court;
Sycophants crowding 'round her desk.
But beware of her offered support,
Her goals are dubious, Kafkaesque.

He’s the Romeo, attractive, courtly.
His compliments will charm, fill your head.
Beware or you will find out shortly
He tells all of his conquests in bed.

Don’t cuss or talk of your neighbor
When the office moralist is near.
Miss Goody Two Shoes does abhor
Those who are not like her -- austere.

The party kids can be entertaining,
Fun for lifting a brew at the gin mill.
But their drinking can be quite draining
If you’re the one always left with the bill!

The Office Know-It-All knows it all --
Or as least that's what she will say.
She tells (and retells) "facts" not worth recall
And adds, "Well, we've always done it this way!"

The fast tracker has the brownest nose
For he cares only about climbing the chain.
He’ll run over you if you get too close --
It’s best to simply stay out of his lane.

Spy-girl watches from the corner, certain and sure
That there’s a conspiracy plot underway ...
She finds “facts” in comments so obscure
That she should be working for the CIA.

There’s others, too numerous for me to describe
Who swim in this same office cesspool
If you would like to share your stories – transcribe!
Tell me of the sharks you know from work and school.