(Nothing like a happy well kept wife)

Well everyone, my wife is not a violent person at all

She is really sweet to me and everyone else in our realm stall

She's really afraid of guns and wouldn't pick one up if it meant saving her life

In fact my wife is really a big whimp who really wouldn't pick up a kitchen knife

She's really afraid of things like large bridges and thunder and lightning

And don't let a squirrel or mouse cross her path because she will certainly be frighten

When we first met I was looking all over the house for her during this thunder storm

When I couldn't find her I just knew this wasn't in the norm

So I opened the closet door to get my rain coat to look outside for her, as I was reaching up for it, something grabbed my leg from below, scared me almost to death, I then looked down and saw these two eyes and pearly teeth down in the bottom of the closet looking up at me

Man, was I scared almost out of my happy spree

I asked her, "what are you doing sitting in the closet?"

She screamed, "none of dam business, close it!"

This is when I first found out that she was affraid of thunder and lightning

At least I thought she was that frighten

One day we got caught in a thunder storm which really had her all upset

So heading for home was my best bet

When we were getting out of the car she dropped a penny on the street which rolled down and was headed for the drain

The thunder went boom boom boom, a lightning bolt flashed a cross the sky, but my wife chased that penny until she caught it in the heavy rain

I screamed, "hey I thought you were afraid of the thunder and lightning dear."

She grabbed that penny up and said, "you must be crazy, when it come to money I have no fear!

My wife will chase a penny down an alligator throat quick

Man, did I began to feel like a mouse name mick