I grew up with no real family..
not one that knew the word love..
When I got married...
I married a man with lots of love..
and family..
Birthday parties, celebrations
picnics and Christmas Eve..
Ahhh .......
these were the times I had missed..
For the first few years
I refused to go to these family things..
I felt I didn't belong..
So he took my son to these events..
I stayed at home..
Then one year I decided to go..
To see what this family
thing was all about..
It was more than I had imagined..
The ties, the loyalty and pride..
that beamed in all their eyes..
There were more people
than I had anticipated..
The house was lovingly decorated.
The tables filled with food galore..
Children running everywhere..
Asking "when can we open the presents"
All stuffed under the tree..
Adults all laughing at the children's impatience..
Finally given in.. to their pleas..
Wrapping paper flying everywhere..
Flashes going
no memories to spare..
Happy smiling faces..
this is family.
And then one night
it occurred to me..
these are not my family..
They are just on loan to me..
They belong to him..
He is their son..
I am his wife..
That makes me family
as long as husband and wife
stay as one..
So as much I love them
and wish them all well..
I think it is time I back off some now
They will never know
how much they mean..
I don't think I can handle
losing another family dream.
So this year I will stay home..
My husband and sons will go..
This is the better way..
I know that they will disagree..
but they can't see the heart in me..
But if they ever really need me
my help will never be denied....
After all they were the only family..
to ever let me inside..

ERICA