Every family has an outcast. In mine, I'm 'it'.

Nobody knows (but the Lord and me)
the trouble I’ve lived, my victories.
Mom said, "Deaf folks are freaks;
don’t listen when she speaks." Scared in my home.
Nobody knows (but the Lord and me)
how often I laid awake crying.
I made mistakes--there no denying--
but I was barely six; to her knee.
It hurts to be unloved by mommy.
Held face down in the tub--
no ordinary scrub . . . scared in my home.
Nobody knows (but the Lord and me);
I prayed to join Daddy in heaven
from the age of six till eleven.
Twelve, I thought of becoming a nun
so mom could see I was the ''good'' one.
Momma had a plan; wanted me to wed
someone rich--put a roof o’er her head.
Mom was dismayed I strayed . . . scared in my home.
Nobody knows (but the Lord and me);
how she’d cane me while I was dating
said I’ve ''give'' without hesitating.
So ashamed. Wouldn’t date him again
Told sis to say we lived ''in sin''
but I’m not gay and never have been;
Mom spun that lie . . . scared in my home.
Momma used to say, "You are ugly--
orangutan arms and too pudgy."
Nobody knows (but the Lord and me)
that wed, Mom still wanted my baby.
"You’re deaf, unfit, that baby needs me."
Called her lawyer and had papers drawn;
I wouldn’t sign them and was long gone.
After mom died my sisters tried then
to get my children from me again.
I wouldn’t cave; they declared me dead.
My heart was shattered, inside I bled.
My name and likeness were taken out
of the Bible and records; no doubt.
When my son died, I cried, my siblings at my side.

Nobody knows (but the Lord and me)
that all they wanted was my money.
I said, "No," lost all my family
but . . . I'm no longer scared in my home