Oh Jack

It was raining, no surprise to me this time of year as I pulled into the Douglas parking lot.  Maggie was ahead of me as we exited our cars.  The door keeps sticking on my old Hudson and I have to give it a swift kick sometimes to get it open.

Hi Maggie I yelled! 

Hi Lilly, cold enough for you? 

Aye sure is!

As we both scurried inside to punch the time clock.

We both stood in front of Rosie the Riveter’s poster and posed giggling and felt we were better models.  Donning the same kerchief and shirt sleeves rolled up.

Brrrr, I’m cold today Maggie and been thinking about Jack a lot. We had so many plans.

Ah now Lilly don’t go worrying your pretty little self Jack is fine. I’m sure God’s angels are protecting him.  He’s a strong man darlin’ no worries about it.

Ah I’m sure your right Maggie, but… something isn’t feeling right.  I will do my best to shake it off.

With enough time for some coffee we go to the break room and pour us a mug.

I find myself recalling the months before… How Jack and I rented a little bungalow on Signal Hill.  It has a wee knicker high fence, white picket freshly painted.  I made plans for a garden and we laughed.

Potatoes he said? Lilly my girl no one plants potatoes here! The ground is not good enough for planting! Something in the soil they said.

Aye, I can grow anything Jack darlin’, always had a green thumb like my dear departed grandmother.  Silly man, you wait and see what I can do.

At that moment he swept me up in his arms and carried me across the threshold and I squealed and laughed!  We aren’t even married yet!  You’ll jinx it I says to him.

Lilly my love, we have been married a lifetime he said as he kissed me.

Why did it feel like our life was passing before me?  I could not shake it.  War, I hate war! But off he went with his promises to return.

Every plane I put a rivet, I said, “I love you Jack.”  Supposed to be the best, the SBD Dauntless… mean looking thing I hope they’re right. That’s what’s protecting my Jack in the sky. Sigh…

The Super shook me out of my dream…

Lilly I need you in my office

Have I done something?

No you haven’t Lilly, but please come with me.

The look on his face was pained; I searched my mind wondering what I had done. Maggie watched as I walked away with concern and perplexed.

Have a seat Lilly please.  I did not want to sit and stood with my back to the door arms crossed.

I’m fine Ray, please tell me what’s going on?

Ray approached me with that pained look. My heart was beating hard and I started to shake wondering what it could be.  I was saving every penny in these hard times for Jack and my future.  I nearly had my wedding gown paid for.

Ray put his heavy hand on my shoulder and tears began to well up in his eyes.  I have never seen Ray show a tear ever, I knew it must be serious.

It’s Jack Lilly, I’m so sorry… Jack’s mother called me she just got word, his plane went down and he was lost.

No, no no no, this can’t be! I went numb. My mind was blank. Nothing.. nothing… nothing.  Ray mumbled, go home Lilly take the day.. I am so sorry.

I don’t remember leaving, I don’t remember getting in my car, just driving…. driving… numb... driving... then the tears came. Uncontrolled… trying to choke them back and the rain poured on my windshield… and I cursed WHY!

Before I knew I was falling… and I snapped to. Oh jaysus mary mother of god I’m going into the water, I missed the bridge and went over the side.  With a WHOOSH my car hit the water and began to sink.  The pressure… the pressure I can’t open the door… all at once like a rock in water down I went.  Kicking kicking the door, the window nothing… and bottom she touched. Don’t panic I tell myself and crawl into the backseat.

Water is filling the inside fast; it’s up to my neck as I crouch on my knees looking out the back window gasping for breath.

I began to cry… and warmth overcame me and I heard him… looking up swimming towards me it was him… arm outreached… hand extended… we have been married a lifetime Lilly

Carolee Dennis-Woosley

2009

(a past life regression)