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Chanti Niven

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The Prisoner
by Chanti Niven → (All Poetry by Chanti Niven)
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Based on a true story told using a simple rhyme scheme.
(the picture I've used has no relation to the story and was one I picked purely because it seemed appropriate)


Poem Artwork

With a fervor born of passion
and a desire to reach his fellow man
the preacher took the stage
and spoke with great élan
He talked about his childhood
on the wrong side of the track
A ghetto wrought with poverty
where he had to watch his back
Born to a 'working' mother
and the father who was her pimp
Drugs caused a birth defect
that left him with a limp

Through hardship he was hardened
All emotion buried deep
His face a mask of anger
only softened in his sleep
In teenage years his fury
led to a life of crime
He'd terrorize his neighbors
if only for a dime
A gangster and a thug
feared by all who knew
Nobody could stop him
not least the men in blue.

But one day he robbed a store
and a clerk pulled out a gun
He took a bullet in the leg
and yet still he tried to run
He was arrested on the street
and hoisted off to jail
And in court it was decided
that he should get no bail
Labeled as habitual
with a record that would show
that the only place for this young man
was the place that he'd soon go.

In jail he was attacked
and left bleeding and near death
was taken to the infirmary
and there breathed his dying breath

The preacher paused and waited
until a hush fell on the crowd
Then he looked to heaven
and began to pray out loud
"Father open up their hearts
Let them hear what I will say
and help them to believe.
With all my heart I pray."
The audience grew restless
Not sure how to respond
to the man who stood before them
Afraid they would be conned.
Yet in his eyes they saw
something that gave them hope
their own lives out of kilter
were headed down the slope

Finally he began
to tell them what he'd seen
A passage that had led to hell
the place that he had been
His life replayed before him
he feared the judgment that would come
He bowed his head and waited
for it all to come undone
Instead he felt a presence
of unconditional love
It surrounded him with light
and pulled him back above.

In the infirmary, the staff
were shocked by what they saw
The corpse that lay before them
came to life once more
Instead of bitter features
his face took on a glow
A man had died that day
but another man would grow
Soon he was released
changed in all respects
And made an oath to God
that he'd pay back all his debts
He knew he couldn't undo
all the damage he had done
but by touching other lives
perhaps the battle could be won.

Those prisoners in the hall
were silent for a while
and then they burst into applause
each face a shining smile
His testimony shared
and his past exposed that way
The preacher knew his prayer
was answered on that day.



© Chanti 2006
 
 
 
 


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 Reviews of "The Prisoner"
Reviewed by ~ Holly Harbridge (Reader)
Reviewed on November 11, 2006
Well penned indeed! Holly

Reviewed by Anna Marie Fritz (Reader)
Reviewed on October 31, 2006
How did I miss this one, dear Chanti?
Profound, enthralling, enigmatic...I am running out of adjectives,
though not out of praise for the brilliance of your work!

Reviewed on August 27, 2006
OMG... Chanti~! YOU had me flowingggg in tears. YOur expression of writing this Wonderful bittersweet poem, left me wondering... Did you write this, or see it... yOU sure did feel it! Did you see a movie that inspired your feelings so deeply???? Something did it, and did it good... cuz, Boy - You struck it home. Unconditional Love is All Anyone NEEDS and is lookin' for! I hope your Happy- Healthy and life is inspiring you greatly, you have a Beautiful way of expressing yourself, that I enjoy immensouly... As I read, it was as if something I have written, than it took on a story form, I am appalled that someone would go through so much pain, and that others are so quick to critize and then, you read of HOPE and you know in your heart of hearts, that is All that is Needed... Unconditional Love and Hope! I want to say/write more, but I will stop right there. Let's just say------> I was sure touched by your expressions/words and the pict.! Love and BRIGHT Light has fallen upon your heart and there it will stay, I will have you in my prayers! Love,Loveand Peace- HuGs!

Reviewed on August 16, 2006
Wow, this is outstanding, a beautiful story told so excellently,

Reindeer

Reviewed by Damien Rickner
Reviewed on August 15, 2006
Well done.

Reviewed by Edwin Larson
Reviewed on August 14, 2006
Excellent story told in well-written verse Snuggles !!!A refreshing departure from your well-honed style.

Cuddles

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on August 11, 2006
A compelling poetic account that draws the reader in, Chanti. I also admire the discipline displayed in your verses. Love and peace to you,

Regis

Reviewed by Kate Burnside
Reviewed on August 11, 2006
I find it most difficult to write "proper" poetry in strict metre and form - and most ESPECIALLY with rhyme as well. But you have incorporated all three of these most excellent and difficult disciplines into one heartfelt and truly moving poem, Chanti, without losing any sort of edge or reality. In fact, more than that, you have made the life of this narrative live and breathe in such a way that it FORCES all the constraints upon it to jump to its tune. I find balladic types of work often difficult to concentrate on... but this one had me eating out of the palm of it's hand and I almost WANTED to pick up on a forced or weak spot to make me falter... but there was none. Inspired and inspiring this most certainly is - both in execution and in soul-refreshing subject matter. I salute you, brave Poetess! TY LOL Kate xx

Reviewed by Miss Pandora (Reader)
Reviewed on August 11, 2006
Fable or not, this makes a wonderful composition. Powerful imagery and emotive thoughts combine well. Very nicely done indeed. Panda :)

Reviewed by E T Waldron
Reviewed on August 10, 2006
Splendid poem Chanti! Inspired writing that uplifts the soul! We all can benefit from such superb testimony's! Thank you for sharing!

Love,
Eileen

Reviewed on August 10, 2006
Chanti this is amazing, I loved it, amazing write, and the graphic was a perfect edition, write on and be blessed
God Bless
Michelle~

Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green
Reviewed on August 10, 2006
Wonderful, Chanti! A n d you picked the perfect way to illustrate
the poem. Thank you!! 'Pea' <3

Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)
Reviewed on August 10, 2006
Wow, that is absolutely wonderful.

Reviewed by Blue Sleighty
Reviewed on August 9, 2006
OUTSTANDING! I REALLY love this, and it has profound and deep personal meaning to me. Thank you for reminding me to thank Him for one more thing.

Reviewed by richard poor
Reviewed on August 9, 2006
very good write...not all in prison are criminals.

Reviewed by Richard Cederberg
Reviewed on August 9, 2006
We all certainly have our paths to walk. Unfortunately some are more riddled with holes and rocks than others.

This was excellently penned - I believe the best I've read of your work. The rhymne and rhythmn flowed graciously in the unfolding of what could almost be construed as Poetic flash fiction.

The picture looks like a young Viggo Mortenson.

In fraternity and poetic vision ...

Richard Lloyd Cederberg

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on August 9, 2006
Outstanding write Chanti!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by Rhonda Galizia
Reviewed on August 9, 2006
Outstanding pen, Chanti, and an outstanding witness to the God of genuine change and rebirth! Thank you for your beautiful heart, Chanti, which shares the message overcoming hope and joy!

Love, Rhonda

Reviewed by atti? _ (Reader)
Reviewed on August 9, 2006
I had trouble taking this seriously because the use of rhyme scheme gave it a "humpty dumpty" type of meter, and the content itself was to heavily reliant on the use of sequence for me. I use sequense as well, but I just feel like when a poems so dependent on storyline it takes away from things like emotion and diction, and to me those are some of the most important aspecs of poetry. So, I respect it for the craftmenship and the work put into it... But it's just not really my style of poetry. Sorry.

Reviewed on August 9, 2006
Excellent story told in verse; splendid writing, Chanti!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in America, Karen Lynn in Texas. :D

Reviewed on August 9, 2006
Captivating story telling in excellent verse, Chanti, beautiful testimony.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

Reviewed by Michelle Mills
Reviewed on August 9, 2006
Ah the pleasure and immense emotion of a Chanti poem! Do you ever pen anything that isn't magical? I thought this was an amazing piece my friend. Love, Michelle

Reviewed by Styvenberg *** (Reader)
Reviewed on August 9, 2006
Very powerful lines Chanti!

Reviewed by jude forese
Reviewed on August 9, 2006
when one has the passion to change, there are no limitations to what can be achieved ...

extrememly well written, Chanti ...

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on August 9, 2006
A jailhouse confession to beat all jailhouse confession, Chanti! You made not one mistake within this lovely poem of redemption and love, not one. This old guy is smiling, thanking back, to my own . . . times of hell.

Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on August 9, 2006
This has same errie, sad feel of Wildes Ballad of Reading Gaol..
Until the surprise redemption, and his life doing a 180 deg.
The message gently crept up on me, with thoughts of certain bible stories, and Peeps like Nic Cruz.
Aber say's it correct. Much gratitude indeed.
It reads better printed out too...


Reviewed by Aberjhani
Reviewed on August 8, 2006
These lines bear powerful witness to the evolution of an exceptionally blessed soul. Much gratitude for the tremendous inspiration and the beautiful sharing--
Aberjhani

Reviewed by Chanti Niven
Reviewed on August 8, 2006
I changed the title from 'The Preacher' to 'The Prisoner' because I was concerned that readers might get the wrong idea about this poem. It is not intended to be a sermon but a message of hope. A story that touched me when I heard it and that I tried to relay accurately in poetic form. My own brother spent eight years in jail and so this is especially meaningful to me.

Reviewed by Tami Ryan
Reviewed on August 8, 2006
This is EXCEPTIONAL, my friend! And I like the change of title. (winks)

Outstanding work!

Love and hugs,
Tami

Reviewed by A PAX
Reviewed on August 8, 2006
This is the best thing I have ever read in my life........
amazing!!!
speechless........loved it........into the library it goes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pax A


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