AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Linda Frank, i RickthePoetWarrior, iLisa Loucks Christenson, iRachel Glasgow, iSam Vaknin, iLloydene Hill, iD. Enise, iJ and C Wordsmiths, iJames Harvey, iJudith Bailey, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Becky Ayers

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· 38 Titles
· 18 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Jan, 2011

Becky Ayers, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



Darn it, Darn it, PMS!
by Becky Ayers → (All Poetry by Becky Ayers)
   Rated "PG" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook

A humorous look at a couple during the wife's "time of the month".

Damn it, damn it, PMS,
Do I really need this stress?
One day I feel really great,
Next day I beat up my mate.
Damn it, damn it, PMS,
Do I really need this stress?

Darn it, darn it, she’s a mess!
I can’t take, it I profess.
If I hug her she will scream,
Is this all just one bad dream?
Darn it, darn it, she’s a mess!
I can’t take, it I profess!

Oh no, oh no, here she comes!
Should I stay or should I run?
If she sees me I’ll play dead,
Then she’ll whack me on my head!
Oh no, oh no, here she comes!
Should I stay or should I run?

Damn it, damn it, I‘m in pain!
Cramps and bloating, now weight gain!
I feel ugly and unloved.
Now I really need a hug!
Damn it, damn it, I’m in pain!
Cramps and bloating, now weight gain!

There she goes, don’t make a sound!
If I breathe then I’ll be found.
She will yell and scream at me,
Oh dear God! Please let me be!
There she goes, don’t make a sound!
If I breathe then I’ll be found.

Nasty, nasty, I’m so fat!
Where is he? I need to chat!
There he is, I see him now,
Hiding from the big fat cow!
Nasty, nasty, I’m so fat!
There he is! I need to chat!

Oh my God! Look here she comes!
Oh no! Oh no! Where’s my Tums?!
I can’t take this! She’s a nut!
She will kick me in the butt!
Oh my God! Look here she comes!
Oh no! Oh no! Where’s my Tums?!

Jack ass! Jack ass! Look at you!
Knowing what I’m going through!
You don’t love me, this I know!
I will find another beau!
Jack ass! Jack ass! Look at you!
Knowing what I’m going through!

No dear, no dear! I love you!
I just hate it when you’re blue.
Take a pill, then take a nap.
Yes of course I give a crap!
No dear, no dear! I love you!
I just hate it when you’re blue.

Dear Lord, Dear Lord, let her sleep!
Out the door I’ll gently creep.
When she wakes, I won’t be here.
I might come back sometime next year!
Dear Lord, Dear Lord, let her sleep!
Out the door I’ll gently creep.


 


Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "Darn it, Darn it, PMS!"
Reviewed by Steve Groll
Reviewed on September 10, 2011
Yeah, I think only a woman could get away with writing that. Very funny and so well crafted.


Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  5.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  6.  Milkman's letter
  7.  Laughing As I Flee...
  8.  Amazing Grapes
  9.  Newfangled Things
  10.  A Salt and Batter
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  14.  My First Heart Attack
  15.  The Last Second
  16.  Bawdy Stories And A Game Of Bridge
  17.  Houston Greats
  18.  Hound Dog
  19.  AThree Year Old
  20.  Burst Forth
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part III by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part III is adult satirical literature that parodies thirteen famous short stories.  
Member BookAds

Poe: Pelted, Pounded, Pummeled and Pulverized by Jay Dubya

Author Jay Dubya satirzes in adult language and content 18 famous Edgar Allan Poe stories.  
Member BookAds

Hawthorne: Hazed Hooked Hammered & Hijacked by Jay Dubya

Hawthorne: Hazed Hooked Hammered & Hijacked is adult humor that satirizes 12 popular Nathaniel Hawthorne stories in parody form.  
Member BookAds