“WE‘RE JUST SO DIFFERENT”

(How can we be married?)

by Don Wendorf, Psy.D.; LMFT

Of course we’re “just so different”: why do you think we wed?

If I’d have wanted a clone of me, I’d have married myself instead.

Marrying your duplicate won’t send your passions soaring.

There won’t be any conflict; but you’ll be so beastly boring.

Well, I come from a family where everyone’s really close:

Involved and huggy, drive you buggy, sticky and verbose.

While you come from a family more distant from the start:

Autonomous, anonymous, more separate and apart.

So you can teach me boundaries, how nicely to say “no,”

To be a stronger, unique self… you can help me grow.

You can learn togetherness and caring more from me,

More intimate, more sensitive, to share with family.

And you tend to be introverted, quiet, shy reserved,

More in your head, a crowd you dread, more easily unnerved.

And I tend to be extroverted: I go out, not in.

A crowd’s appealing, I like feeling, people, talk and din.

So I can learn from you to be more solid within me,

Content at times to be alone, act more cerebrally.

And I can teach you to enjoy relationships much more,

More feeling, playful, open, seeking intimate rapport.

I should become a better me by learning more from you,

While you absorb the best of me, expanding your self, too.

‘cause you can’t lean on me to be for you what you must be,

And I must change and take on being more like you for me.

Across the years our being wed should age us like fine wine,

Be more alike, but different, like when two trees entwine.

Like two songs in the same key, two different words that rhyme,

Our two sides bonded like a coin: two faces on a dime.