ON SHARING BODILY FLUIDS

Verses:
Sometimes Susan’s bladder issues just tee tee me off.       She’ll wet her chair, the bed, herself, just ‘cause she has to cough,
Or sneeze or laugh or drink or think. We live in yellow mist,       I constantly am cleaning up and sometimes I get pissed.

Sometimes Susan’s bowel issues make my life seem crappy:  If it’s stuck or runny, funny, leaked into her nappy.
I’d like to forget it all; get fecal amnesia.
Never pour her nightcaps made of milk of magnesia.

Sometimes Susan’s nasal issues make me act all snotty.          I help her blow, stop bloody flow, make it all get clotty,       Open clogs, soothe with saline, make it feel all cozy.
So how’s her boogers doing now? I hate to be so nosey.

Chorus:
It’s not her fault, but all the strokes; she hates it just like me. She hates that I must manage this, be “anal” as can be.     Good thing I had two kids with dirty butts and messy sickness Who cured me of my old aversion to the world of ickness.