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Tolulope Williams

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I can remember
by Tolulope Williams → (All Poetry by Tolulope Williams)
Wednesday, October 11, 2017    Rated "G" by the Author.
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This is a reflection of the past and how it can be used as a key to the future. One may have failed at a lot in life and made the wrong choices just like I have done, but it's better late than never to make a change

I CAN REMEMBER….
I can remember the primes of my life, because they were scary times
I can remember crying my fears out as a baby, I was terrified by some brown, flattened body, winged flying creatures trailing my cot freely. I never understood they were just cockroaches
I can remember my very first birthday,
The members of my family, gathered round me and the cake
I stood, adorned in my with shirt with colorful numbers inscribed on it
I can remember the tiny faces of my friends, which glistened against my dark little frame
I remember my first day at the pre – school nursery, I cried my eyes sore because I felt like a lone ranger.
I can remember coming how I cried my eyes sore again that same day when school closed and I was to come back home, I did not want to leave my new friends, and coming back home meant skimming through loads of chores for me.
I can remember that having a bath in the cold grip of the harmattan was a perfunctory exercise for me.
I can remember my elementary school days, how I sat at the front rows in class because of my infinitesimal frame.
I can remember how my friends poked fun at my deformed posture and sunken eyes that never had a white cornea like the others.
I can remember how I had been gloomed with low self-esteem and never felt accepted.
I can remember being unsung, how having childhood feelings for cynical looking girls who never looked in my direction made me burn inside
I can remember falling in love with the romance of medicine since first hearing as a small boy.
I can remember how I struggled for years to have that high school result that would set me on the path of a medical doctor.
I can remember how foolish I was and now feel, when I was offered admission once and I rejected it because I wasn’t given the course I lobbied for.
I can remember how I found myself how I found myself in a polytechnic, institutions I had an aversion just because of the feeling that they had no prestige as far as Nigeria was concerned.
I can remember I had to drop out because of financial constraints.
I can remember perusing the internet and how looking at the faces of my course mates adorned in their NYSC, certificate in hand almost shattered and made me feel like a loser.
I can remember opting for a degree again at the National Open University of Nigeria and opting out too because of financial constraints, negligence and lack of focus.
I can remember I had a high school crush, the deep waters of love swallowed us shoulder high, yet I lost her to another man all because of the fear of owning up my feelings
I can remember that she has been dating her current man for over six years and still remains loyal to him despite the filth and dishonesty in today’s youths
I can remember that loyalty would have been mine if I wasn’t just so timid
I can remember that inferiority complex again, it stymied my quest for having a girlfriend till seven years after high school.
I can remember how I threw mentorship from my grandmother in the trash can.
I can remember how I had said she was ‘Old School’ and now I take upon the courage not to become the ‘Old Fool.’
I can remember how daunted I feel as a full grown youth, that I can’t ride a bicycle, nor drive a car.
I can remember I don’t even have a driver’s license.
I can remember the girlfriend I had seven years after high school, she left my heart shattered, is now happily married and has her daughter.
I can remember that I had been involved in three other failed relationships.
I can remember that the things I chose for myself were the things that always went wrong
I can remember I had chosen to be a science student, and till today I still struggle to make a name along that path
I can remember I chose to be alone and struggle all by myself as a man without the intrusive help of my parents, but now life has proven to be tougher than the leopard’s skin.
I can remember that the ones I chose to fall in love with, turn out to be the ones that hurt the most, but the one who chose me wouldn’t fail to say ‘hello’ no matter how long there has been no communication.
I can remember my grandfather, he was the most peaceful man on earth to me, and his death surely left a vacuum only one person has been able to fill.
I can remember I never chose to be a writer, but have found that it is the only thing that makes me happy and fulfilled
I can remember publishing two books, which have no reviews at all, let alone any sales
I can remember doubting if am on the right path.
I can remember Gods faithfulness and awesomeness in all my unrighteousness and troublesomeness.
I can remember He is the only choice I have made that has never failed me nor let me down
I can remember He is still the reason why I can still hold up my head on high and say to myself “All will be well” even in the deepest of storms.
I can remember He is still the reason why I will make it instances where I had failed previously
I can remember His promises that he will redeem the “years that the locust has eaten”
I can remember He is the only one who has never lied to me nor jilted me and fulfils all He says as long as I fulfil my side of the ‘Bond.’
I can remember that I can only write this piece to inspire and give someone hope

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 Reviews of "I can remember"
Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on October 12, 2017
Your life history and a poem. And from the look of it, your life has been a struggle. The good news is that you have always moved forward, in spite of the setbacks and disappointments. That is the sign of a strong individual. If nothing else, you could be satisfied with what you have accomplished against all odds. Try not to look backward too much and move on.

Finally, when you succeed in something, God had nothing to do with it. Everything you accomplish will be from your hard effort. You don't need to give someone else credit for your good fortune or earned accomplishment, like writing two books.

Ron

Reviewed by Budd Nelson
Reviewed on October 12, 2017
I think the hope will be found

Reviewed by John Domino
Reviewed on October 11, 2017
I will remember this poem as an inspiration of hope and faith in God. Well done, thank you for sharing!


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