I don’t agree that cats are clever,
I believe they’re all insane.
But I’d be sorry if I never
Saw another cat again.

Cats are regal, cats are sleek,
Cats have enigmatic eyes.
But I believe if they could speak
They would only tell us lies.

Cats are independent beings,
Who will do whate’er they please.
But I know one called Crown Prince Mishkin
Who’s thick as bricks and full of fleas.

Cats are wiser than most people,
They won’t come just when you call.
But I don’t know too many people
Who sit wild-eyed and stare at walls.

Cats are hedonistic creatures,
They know the meaning of luxury.
But one of their most salient features
Is crapping on the new settee.

Cats are smart-assed, cats are lazy,
Cats know only cupboard love.
Cats are sneaky, cats are crazy,
Cats believe there’s a Cat above.

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