TOM TURKEY’S WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM

Tom Turkey looked in the mirror,

And knew he had to lose weight.

If he didn’t shed a pound or ten,

He’d be on a Thanksgiving plate.

So he began jogging around the pen.

He watched what he ate.

He started pumping iron,

But couldn’t lose any weight.

He joined the local gym.

He went to a fancy spa.

His drumsticks were looking scrumptious,

The largest you ever saw.

He tried a ton of diets.

He read a thousand books.

He hired and fired,

At least a hundred cooks.

He skipped a mile of rope.

He shadowboxed for hours.

He hit the heavy bag,

And developed punching powers.

But try as he might, he couldn’t lose weight,

Although he did get buff and fit.

Tom Turkey looked gobble-licious,

His Butterball was a Honeysuckle hit.

Tom Turkey never looked tastier,

Even ol’ Tom had to agree

So have a Happy Thanksgiving,

And bon appétit.

Michael D. Schafer

November 20, 2018