“For What, am I”

 
Is it written that I die in vain
This life given, is riddles in dark rains—
Pages are turned and fingered—no matter,
How do I see, to decipher or wage
Times again, flashes of light seem ripe, as wine grapes—
Yet hearts of others do not receive me well
This light fails, as times change, and my ways
The riddles steep, and I have fallen nearly insane
Inside my mind are sprawling placid wonders—how so,
I cast reel into my soul’s lakes, fishing for understanding,
Yet catch the damnedest things, which have no names
This Life propensity pushes, and is masked with love and living
More so, I pour out this love for someone else’s pride and gain
Over and then, I do plant new seeds
With, ever, my hunger and thirst—they die not, for me
I dare not die foolish and hungry—to this, I am chained
Even so, when my spirit moves happily, must I know of
Someone who is, not happy—who is dying with great pains
How do I smile then
Is it said of this life, “I die in vain”
 

 
Written By, Darkest Angel
Written March 13, 2010

When I lift up my face—crying
Can you see the tears—do they make you happy
Listen to me, I never asked to be here
This is your life—not mines, yet I feel this pain
I look into desperate faces, and feel their needs and hate
They even plot to take the things I have
I have sacrificed much to get them
Another’s grin is larger and brighter because of me
A sad face lurks at every speck of earth—longing
The sicknesses and angers pressure the life of us
We cause each other’s suffering—thus
If I say your name, will you curse me—
Darken the curses for me—keep me alive to torture more
What hellish dark is in you for this life
Moments come to me, and I steal happiness
I strive, yet I run away—broken
Pictures of the people, who were in my life, cause
Tears to form and trickle off my skin—I love them
You have taken them away—where is this place
I need to see them again
I want to know they are happy and safe there—
Want to know they have found Spring, sunny days,
Joy, peace, and good friendships—
To see their radiant smiles—this time
Forever

Written By, Darkest Angel
Written March 14, 2010