A poem on my musings of how someone acts and talks like they are in total agreement with you and what you profess, then all of the sudden some little thing you say or do, that somehow threatens, their stubborn minds,or differs from their point of view,causes them to strike out and try to disqualify you. I think, it's that they read the words, but in their hearts the message doesn,t come thru, cause reading and obeying, are different as night and day. His words convict a part of them , that even He has not got to. Some little loop hole that they've created, so they don't have to do His bidding, but rather what they want to. So it's not with me they really fight, but themselves and our Lord, but they can't admit to that, and be what they say they are, so it'd much easier and safer, to take pot shots at me I don;t really understand, but betrayal of any kind hurts every time. Thank God it's only for a time.

Try, try, and try some more       The repetition of aim  and desire,  are not a natural thing,  cause when the sought reaction, isn't happening,  or even close. The natural mind, no patience finds.   Having asked to be forgiven,  only to see things get worse. The attitude I once had, would love to lower myself there now, is to withdraw and say: screw you,  you didn't  matter, Anyhow.     But, the only way of finding peace,  if "The Way" is what you  truly seek,  Is to keep asking them to forgive,  and coals of love,  on their heads,  heap.     But then the love is, too, rejected, for it  was never but, aligning with truth,  and once the lie is accepted, and  all the judgment starts; the doors that were opened, to share  His loving Grace, are not just closed, but never happened, in the first place.     The devil knows, real well, for he runs this place,  how the words  that take someone  to the Master,  in seeking, but not sure,   hearts and minds, to easily,   erase.    He uses pride, and ego, cause how dare any one say, that what you're doin goes against,  that  faith that you claim, repent, and see what's really true , cause your walk should match your talk, it's the Godly thing to do.     But some, they take His blessings well,  and enjoy, being at peace. But didn't He also tell us, didn't He also say?: that my Word is like a two edged sword and will cut the lie away.   A mother will be against daughter, a father against his son, For I didn't come to bring peace, but division will occur.  For one will receive the Word,  and in, obedience, to it, they can't help but,  be.  The other 'would, rather, in his own understanding, believe, and on it, in defiance,  lean.   Luke 12:49,50,51 I have come to cast fire upon the earth;  and how I wish it were already,. kindled. But I have a babtism to undergo, and how distressed I am,  until it is accomplished. Do you suppose I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division       You'd think after, all these years, and tears,  when in a prophet's role, I'd myself find.  In the churches he'd send me, with His healing and direction, in Mind. You can well imagine, what the reaction,  to tellin 'em that they're not  pleasin their Lord,  and guess what the reception,   from a flock , who really don' t want to hear, that , with their current motivation,  He could never for them vouch. And then to add that he's goin to:  spew them out of His mouth. Rev. 3:15,16,17  I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot;  I would that you were:  cold or hot.  So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spew thee out of my mouth. Because you say, I am rich, and have become wealthy, in need of nothing. You do not know that you are wretched, and miserable, and poor and blind and naked.  Or perhaps, the Pastor,  that when a single mother , with three kid's in tow, came to him and His fellow pastors,  to beg for some help,  as she'd no where else to go. And he did every thing, but call her a leach,  And how she managed to be referred to  one who was actively teaching some powerful men, in town. How to be in His loving, heart-changing, Word, and with other like minded men, themselves to surround. Well, the word was getting out.  That if some help anyone needed,  his group would try to come thru. Yes, that was me, and once again,  the trouble was starting to brew. I went to the pastor, whom I knew,  and asked Him for $250.00 from their outreach program,  that I helped to, start. He asked me what the $, was for,  and who, and how, they came?, to me,  instead of him. Since the fund was for His flock.   I said I'd fill him later, as I was racing against the clock.   I went to one of the men, in my men's Bible study group,  knowing he had a Buick for sale,  the car was tip top  I further asked Him if he'd consider, $250 instead of nine  And allow for the difference,  as  a catch up on his tithes. He said $350 was as low  as he could possibly, ever go.  I gave him the $250 and threw  another c-note in, and with the title , in my hands,   went to see the lovely lady,  who'd be driven one hell of a car,  to church that comin Sunday, stead a walkin so far.    About her kids, no one knew,  cause she' d been walking to church all the while and three miles was just to far, for the little folks to go.    But now she could take them with her  in her awesome,  like new Buick,  they would, everywhere,  with her,  go.    I guess this woulda made a good story, in my story section , it might have gone,  I hope you can bare, with me, even tho, this is so long.   So I gave her another $50.00,  for title and Registration,  and 6 months of insurance, so legal, she would be,   Well wouldn't' you know it, that lady kept hugging and thanking me. I told her that all the praise and thanks should to her, Lord, go,  and to the pastor of her church,  even tho, it took a little nudging,  they still, allowed the $ to flow,   I told the pastor, that I'd found her some wheels, and what a miracle  it turned out to be,  He said, that's great, but did you tell her that it really came from me.   I said: oh yes, and she's coming this Sunday, t to thank you , personally.   Well Sunday came, and there she was,  all dressed up and so very pretty,   with 3 little angels all in tow, what a sight  to see.   When blessing time came, sure enough,  she stood up and with a loud clear voice, all the while looking at me, my heart skipped a beat,   Cause once again my  Lord was about to put me , in one hell of a Hot , hot seat.   Her thanks came in a loving voice and to pastors said :thank you, and then that, BUT came, ---  but I had to  go and see a prophet,  to make you do,  anything nice for me.    The thing the Lord would have me say, Is If that strong and Spirit filled man , I hadn't gone to see And if he hadn't interceded. And took up my plea  I'd still be walkin,  and you'd still, be judgin  and ignorin  me.   Well the worst thing that she could have done, was use the word, prophet,  cause I never let any one see,   The role He has me in, is between Him and me,    So for the story to move on, just let me say,  with her using that description,  The pastors weren't the only ones,  who wanted to get rid of me,  I saw the hatred in their eyes,  as on that cross  in the front ,  they'ed just as soon  hang me, an epitaph to a prophet,  hangin in  the sacristy.   And although in these two examples it looked real bleak for me, I'll just tell you that in both cases,  the changes that He wanted to see, happen were ultimately achieved.     If  He,calls you,  He will protect you,  even so at the time, There's no way you can tell that in the end your willingness,  your obedience to his call, He’ll lift you up, and make you shine, Cause you gave  it your all    Then it starts all over, again with His giving me a new "word "  I find myself  better equipped to handle,   Being a voice for the,  Lord.   So having shared my heart with you  I find myself less troubled  and more full of faith,  cause my feelings are so sensitive  that sometimes when this I feel,  a trouble in my heart,  it's only the time between the lines, that bring things back to Him,   And, He shows tenderly, that patience is the one thing, that eludes and escapes me.   No matter how much He gives me,  I'm always rushing Him, to make every thing perfect, To allow you all to be free,  the influence of this wayward son,  and My heart of hearts  to see.   Cause even tho I serve Him, and like Him I would be there's many days I can't get past just bein me.   Art Proctor   4-30-06