O'Reilly's law of the kitchen: Cleanliness is next to impossible.

Lieberman's law: Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Denniston's law: Virtue is its own punishment.

Gold's law: If the shoe fits, its ugly.

Conway's law: In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person should be fired.

Finster's law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Lynch's law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Muir's law: When we try to separate anything out by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.

Glyme's formula for success: The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

Mason's first law of synergism: The one day you'd sell your birthright for something, birthrights are a glut.

Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Handy guide to modern science: If it's green or wriggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Green's law of debate: Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

Stewart's law of retroaction: It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

First rule of history: History doesn't repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.

Oliver's law of location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Harrison's postulate: For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Occam’s Razor: Entities are not to be multiplied without necessity. (When there is a simple solution, it is preferred over a complex one.)