emotional abuse (warning--strong language) (poem) by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner on AuthorsDen

emotional abuse (warning--strong language)
by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner → (All Poetry by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner)

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go to your room i'm disgusted with you your mother was buried today and you're out gallivanting around... wait 'til your father finds out...you're grounded... (said to me by my second oldest sister when karen's and my mom died) you're nothing but a loser user and an abuser and you'll never change... you were always mom's least favorite child... (said to me by my oldest sister the day after mom was buried) goddammit can't you do anything right?... (said to me by my parents and grandmother) why can't you get grades like your older sisters? (said to me by my parents) i don't even want to look at you...get out of my sight... (said to me by my parents and grandmother, sometimes oldest sisters) you're so fat...you're going to become just like your oldest sister... (said to me by my mom, who started me on diets from the time i was 12 years old) you shouldn't feel that way... (said to me by my parents when i was feeling sad) go to your room/basement... (said to me ALWAYS by my parents when company came over) you're nothing but a fat ugly stupid bitch...can't do anything right... (said to me by my ex-husband) what's wrong you're ashamed of me why what did i do wrong all i did was be born i didn't ask to be born early i didn't ask to be born at all i had no choice in the matter why did you have to tell me that why did you treat me so bad why did you make me feel worthless you wonder why i feel the way i do you wonder why i act the way i do why do i feel bad if nobody likes me you belittled cursed rebuked teased me i hope you had fun doing that because i hated it... you've damaged me forever...and i have you to thank i'm so fucking angry...and i've held this in for years and years and years...NO MORE...thanks for making my life MISERABLE --------------------------------------------------------------------------
i had to get this out...i'm sorry if i offend anyone. i know i have offended God most of all. God, i repent of my anger and cursing...this is what i heard, and still hear...erase it from my memory and bring healing to my mind...in Jesus' Name, amen. please pray for me--i need them, bad-- karla.

Reviewed by Sophia Romiti (Reader)

Reviewed on November 16, 2002

Good write and i feel sorry for the both of you!! keep writing i can see its helping!!

Reviewed by Debby Rosenberg

Reviewed on November 8, 2002

scream, cry, write...get it out...then breathe...then you can forgive them - for not knowing what they do...then love yourself..for you are truely perfect just as you are...you are you - as you are supposed to be...you've chosen a painful journey this lifetime...wear the bruises with honor...in healing them...you find joy and happiness...remember...you choose how to feel..the others are just playing their parts to help you grow! Hugs! I think you are Beautiful and Perfect!

Reviewed by Josephine Bohen

writing it out will help. just let it rip dear heart.
take care
josie

Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

you are in my prayers, karla. i need them, too, because i was there, in the midst of all that mess. but you got it worse. and i am sorry you did. we are both hurting today because of the damage inflicted on us. we were already damaged enough when we were born (physical slowness, mental slowness, emotional and other delays, eyesight, hearing..); why did we have to add emotional to this list of damages we encurred? no wonder we are the way we are today. and then people wonder why we are so bitter and unhappy. go figure. a heartwrenching write; and one that needed to be written. it will do both of us good if we write about what happened in our lives instead of keeping it all in, as we did for so long. i love you, karla, and i will love you more and more each and every day! turn to god; he'll help us both! love, your twin, karen lynn. ((((((((((HUGS)))))))) and >tears <

p.s.: if i EVER did anything to hurt you, i am indeed sorry!