Like a mysterious planet revolving on a strangely tilted axis
You inhabit the horizon of my dreams
With a twisted array of polarized moons
Orbiting the core of emotion and desire
I must distance myself
From the bright core of your essence
Soon you will implode then expand;
Your presence decimating
Everything around your immediate influence
With what seems like the force of a million exploding suns
And I’ve no desire ending up as a particle
To be sucked up into your vacuum
Into the darkness of your fiery embrace
To find I have collided with the deep, cold core of your being
Outer space metaphors are consistent and effective. I get the message of caution on the poet's part. A fear of commitment? She may be coming on too strong! "I must distance myself" could apply to many souls who cross our daily orbit. I love your closure; the rhyme works for me. Excellent and original poem.
Yeah Sara is right. Come to Australia instead. At least you know your in the wasteland, and you're gonna fry upfront....What u C is what you get, no pretense.
Jude, you need to get away from this parasitic woman. There are 6 billion souls to choose from. Life is too short to waste on people who don't fit. ~ Sara
... This sends one reeling, Jude. My thoughts run this poem on as a contrapuntal write to your previous one on Betrayal, thinking of that inner fracturing that can be caused by outer forces seeking to "divide and rule" our holistic status. This might be an inverse look you are giving us here: the "betrayal" that necessarily has to "be committed" when a symbiotic relationship turns in on itself and becomes unhealthy to both, necessitating severence in order for both parties to heal and survive. Thinking of that tilted planet makes me think of magnetic poles that repel the more they become the same. When the core of a close relationship has basically turned to ice notwithstanding the searing burn on its surface, then the healthy-countertensions which kept things square has certainly imploded on itself. I love how you make our central planks in life - love and relationships - so cosmic and subject to all things scientific and metaphysical. Perhaps we ALL do truly inhabit a universe of one. Great writing, like lava spewing from your molten core. Be well, Babe xx
Very intense and thought provoking... but I do know and have also felt a love in past that was as powerful as this and I failed to distance myself and yes I did end up absorbed and lost. Great piece my friend.
We sometimes find love to be a thumbtack waiting on the seat of our seat for be not to be careful and get the "disappointment" right where it wouldn't forget.
Georg
This one aches, Jude. If we can be touched by love we can also be torn apart when we learn that the object of our affection is as imperfect as we are. Yes, love hurts sometimes, but we all continue to search for it. Perhaps this is because when love feels right, it is the most amazing thing we can ever know in life; yet when love is lost, that empty ache can seem insurmountable. Excellent offering; you bare your soul and allow your heart to bleed upon the page.
Love the use of your metaphors. When one's world comes crashing down I want to be as far away as possible but unfortunately we must stay for those we love. Peace, Love and Blessings Always, Paul.
Dear Jude the poem is great, but one can not be in the same sphere as the universe you see, if one succeeds to open the door within. !.
You’re and Bless Emile
A Collection of Voices from Around the World is more than just a poetry compilation. It is a partnership of poets from around the globe brought together by an internet poetry forum. That forum, poetrypages.com, has been the home of many a fine poet s
WHISPERS OF THE HEART is artist and author J. Allen Wilson's second book of poetry.It can be autographed and shipped within 48 hours of order. NO LONGER AVAILABLE.
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Ron
Sounds like you have good insight,,, you know best.
Christine
Be safe,
Karen
Regis
well penned...
John
Blessings,
Joyce B.
Superb write..
Ron
TRASK
Fee
ET
randy
stan
Susan
Georg
And I’ve no desire ending up as a particle
To be sucked up into your vacuum
Take care,
Sherry
This one hurts: wanting to be there, wanting to separate yourself. An excellent write, poignantly penned.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Love the use of your metaphors. When one's world comes crashing down I want to be as far away as possible but unfortunately we must stay for those we love. Peace, Love and Blessings Always, Paul.
You’re and Bless Emile