Come live with me, be my lover -

Take no notice of my mother.

Just give her time, she'll hold you dear;

Besides, she's hardly ever here.

Between her job and her "friends",

Her busy schedule never ends.

You can rearrange the pots and pans,

Clean the cupboards, recycle cans.

Cook whatever suits your palate;

Feed me steak, tofu, or carrot.

I promise you'll receive a treat

Of flowers, fun, or something sweet.

I have nothing, love, without you

Except my butane barbecue.

Bring your cat, your books, your broom;

We'll let you have your own bedroom.

On nights when I'm not working late -

As long as mother's on a date -

We'll find a sitter for the cat

And overturn the welcome mat.

Believe in me, my offer's true -

I've had three years to think this through.

Don't take too long, please, to decide;