Why do men hit on lone women, why can't they realize that maybe a woman just wants a drink and some alone time. Men don't need to save us! PART ONE

I am a free-spirited woman who wants to live alone,
When I go out without a male in tow, men won't leave me alone!
They start hittin on me when I walk through the door,
It annoys me, for it is such a bore!
So I have devised a scheme to get some respect and dignity,
I go as Dan The Man, instead of me.
An ace bandage hides hooters, a dildo provides the bulge of a slong,
Then Dan The Man can avoid Lounge Lizzards, he can drink alone!
I love masquerading as a dude named Dan,
I might be on the runty side, but I am still quite the man!
Sometimes I don a tux, to go out for the night,
The respect I get is mind boggling, it feels great to be treated right!
With my cute little mustache and sleek dark hair,
I am a hottie, so debonair.
I am the perfect gentleman, every woman's dream,
No one ever supects that I am not what I seem.
Sometimes I buy a Lady a drink and we talk,
Before things get heavy, I always take a walk.
Women love me, I never try to cop a feel, or smother with a French smooch,
I never get involved, I stay aloof.
I am a gender bender, liked by both women and men,
No one ever gets hurt, no sorrow, or no sin.
I have a special man, but his job takes him out of town,
But I always have Dan, when Eric isn't around.
Someday I might tell Eric, I just might confide,
Then I will introduce Dan to him with pride!
Until then I will enjoy my little sham,
Only Dan and I will really know who I am.

MUSIC: Call Me