The tables are neatly laid. The waiter smiles.

There’s ambiance and the menu looks great.

A recommended place; I travelled miles,

With great anticipation I await.

Everyone’s polite; the food must be grand,

It must be a gastronomic delight.

The place is full, must be in big demand…

I’m working up a healthy appetite.

The service is quick; the dishes arrive…

…There is more décor than meat on the plate…

Ten pees, three carrots with a little chive;

Less than my stomach can accommodate.

Only the price presented at the end

Makes up for the deficit in the food,

It’s many times greater than one should spend

On food prepared with such ineptitude.

But being polite I had to present

At least some good backhanded compliments,

Departing I said to the smiling gent:

“Please convey to the chef my condiments.”

© P. J. Oszmann (2003)

© Illustration created in Photoshop.