An ass kicking bucket poem. Really a comment on the human condition.

Eric the bucket.

I wish I was a bucket
And sat around all day
With my handle as companion
Life would be so gay

I'd loiter in the cupboard
Adjacent to the trash
My friends would be the brushes
Ajax, Fairy and some Flash

I wouldn't want promotion
To vessel or container
I’d just be a bucket
A faithful old retainer

Alert when I am needed
Watchful when off duty
You could take me in the lounge sometimes
So we both could watch the footy

And when I am a bucket
My life will be complete
You could even use me as a footstool
For your poor old tired feet

For buckets aren't measured
By sales or business goals
They just have to be a bucket
With a handle, and no holes

So grant me please this bucket wish
And free me from my cares
And I'll meet you later on tonight
When you're cleaning down the stairs.