on the grass under the acacia trees
reeling as the clouds floated over the St. Louis arch
I noticed the debris traveling the muddy Mississippi
traveling someplace beyond and downstream
like dirty thoughts being swept away
 

then  westbound I felt it full force
as the prairie expanse opened wide
horizon to horizon
a sense of love, free of destructive conditions
I could breathe and believe I was re-awakened
 

pinching myself I felt humanness
and illusions were shattered at the word “massacre”
printed along the trail of the pony express
was there no where, anywhere
where agony did not exist
I am attacked in my sleep by my own nightmare
 

I meet a snake in a cemetery outside of Wichita
startling me from the daze I was wandering in
while trying to find her grave
the one I had dug and lost in my past
I cursed Edward under my breath
although he’d been dead 30 yrs as if it was his fault
I couldn’t find it
knowing you really can not blame anyone
without further torturing yourself
 

arriving at the rocky mountains like a refuge
Manitou Springs where another soul purge
engulfs my physical shell expulsion
of more negativity
the altitude making me dizzy
would these trials finally withdraw
 

I found community
where eyes light up
and voices celebrate
each in its own power
joined in strength
somewhere a circle opened
getting the word done

and still i'm westward bound