Mary, you are far too harsh on yourself -- your poem is emotionally gripping -- I was about twenty minutes late arriving when my father passed away -- the memory still haunts me -- we must move on, it is what our parents would want, and expect of us -- peace and love my dear friend -- Jon Michael

Oh Mary, how truly sad. (Hugs) Holly

kind of sad Mary, my moms is an assisted living facility with her mind partially gone. But here's the main thing I don't think your mom would want you to carry such guilt, no use burrying two minds. Anyway great down to earth touching verse, hugs my dear

No Mary, it really does not ever go away, we just learn how to adjust and move forward....

Be always safe,
Karen

Painful and heartbreaking poem.The saddest of all is that mom passed on, on mothers day.

I still have a shirt of Tom's he paid $200 for it and I will never let it go. I said I'd bury him in it, but he was cremated due to unfortunate money situation. Nothing like things for memories sake and to help along in our grief. Sorry, just heard of your Mother's passing. I still miss mine and she passed away 1991. Never to be forgotten are our loved ones,

A painful and emotional poem.Writing this poem makes you feel better and release all that is inside of you.take care of yourself

EDWIN

I can feel your pain for having just lost and watched my wife lose her mother I know how feelings of guilt entice us into blaming ourselves about things we have no control over. My mother in law lived with us right up until a few years ago, my wife like you went to see her faithfully each day even though she had advanced alzheimers and didn't know who she was. When she took sick a few weeks ago and was hospitalized my wife refused to leave her the hospital and on it was only on the third night that I convinced her to go lay down in the lounge and I sat with her mother that her mother passed on. Perhaps it is the way a higher power wants things to be but we cannot blame ourselves on things we cannot control.
hugs and hope you realizize that your mother loved you for who you were, not for what you did or didn't do.

Sad. I agree with John Flanagan. Perhaps you are a bit hard on yourself and this is beautiful.

Mary,
You're hard on yourself, but the poem has a truth and a beauty that moves me deeply.

John

I feel for you. Nursing homes are such a horror anyway. I hope your mother wasn't in there long. Maybe her dementia insulated her from it. But you did your best, though those images and the symbolic significance of Mother's Day weighed on you far too long. I went through it with my parents and YES, we do need a new national Medicare plan for all and especially the elderly. My parents suffered because of the way it was...

DEAR MARY -

Stop punishing yourself. My experience was similar, but different. My Mom died in a Nursing Home, of Alzheimer's.

For several years, I watched a robust, heavy-set woman waste away to a little thing of less than one hundred pounds. Although she no longer knew who I was, I fed her Gummy Bears by hand, one at a time, so she wouldn't choke.

In the earlier years, when she still recognized her only son, she used to beg me: "Tommy, please take me home - I'LL BE GOOD!" A 'tough pill to swallow' - even now - twenty years later!

We are but mere humans, and we do what we can do, when we can do it - when we cannot, we persecute ourselves with guilt.

Those we loved are quite at ease, in their Heavenly domains, and have forgiven us even BEFORE we failed them. Someday, we will join them, and all will be well again - as it should be!

Peace be with you! Tom.

(((HUGS))) love and prayers - nothing I can say will make it easier, but I understand - it's been 19 years since my Mom died, last year for my Daddy - I miss them, still -

Karla. :(

The Native American warriors used to greet each other before going into battle with "It is a good day to die." But truth be known, it is never a good day to die. Especially not a Mother on Mother's Day.

You need to separate yourself from the guilt, though ... your being absent did not cause the physical failing that allowed her passing, and that sort of thing ... even psychologically induced, could not happen in one night.

Embrace the memory of the good times, and remember that she has gained from her passing ... not lost.

Painful, yes. By writing about it you free yourself from the guilt.

All Moms yell, it is their nature. Think of the good times and throw that nasty shirt out or keep it as a memento.

Ron

Mary, I emphathize with you completely on your feelings expressed in this poem. My mom died in a nursing home, too, and even though any day is a bad day to die, it is worse if they die on Mother's Day. You keep that old shirt; I still have mementos of my mama in my home and they keep my memory of her alive. I never want to forget how good she was to me and her family. Blessings.

Yes, I agree. A sad, heartbreaking write but very well done, Mary. Take comfort in knowing that your Mom loves it too. God bless.

Oh, this hurts so much, Mary! I am so sorry; may I pray for you? May I have my church family pray for you, for peace of mind, from the abuse you suffered? Heartbreaking write; powerfully penned sadness! Well done; brava!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :( >tears! <