I used to be afraid that I might forget you,
Now though I'm afraid that I can't forget you.
You who kept everybody neatly in their place.
My younger sisters don't remember you, not even your face.
They are the lucky ones I think.
They didn't have to deal with your ego or your little problem with drink.
They never had to go to the places you took the "Big Four".
They didn't get the little life lessons I can't ignore.
You never took responsibility for any aspect of your miserable life.
You took many lovers even though you had a wife.
She gave you unconditional love that you never earned.
You never grew up so you took chunks of our childhood away.
There was hell to pay if things didn't always go your way.
The real problem was you never wanted your little party to end.
And we were your pawns in your game called "pretend".
Let's pretend that you weren't drunk every night.
And that you and Mom didn't fight.
Let's pretend we didn't get evicted from every house that we had,
While were at it let's pretend you were a good dad.
Let's pretend you didn't gamble your paycheck away.
You never really care if there were any bills to pay.
After all aren't food and electricity a luxury to most?
Don't I give you everything you ever want? You loved to boast!
You said that so often and always so sincere.
Of course you always got the answer you wanted to hear.
All my life I've been storing up these questions that I'll never ask.
Because each of us will be judged on our words, thought, and tasks,
I really searched for any possible way that you might be there,
And the truth is I'll never see you again because you never cared!

Written for my Father..never realized I was angry until I wrote this..now I have let it go...