I don't know why I was....

From the very earliest times in my life,
amid all the joy, agony, wonder and strife,
I always felt distant from my own sorrows
and excitements - a bit to the side of my tomorrows.

The fierce passions and depths of longing,
I lived through without a sense of belonging.
My life passed by with the same rhythm and beat.
I slept, awoke and ate without stridng along with times marching feet.

Time passed me and left its mark.
There were moments of happimess and hours of dark.
The highs and the lows gave way to each other,
as if they were welcoming a close sister or brother.

I wondered now and again how this could be so.
Why did I not feel a part of the the life that I know?
But day to day and night to night
went along after each other without a fight.

Suddenly like Sleeping Beauty, I awoke with surprise,
stretched my arms and rubbed my eyes.
How did I get to this age without feeling or being?
What could I have been thinking or seeing?

I went out on a search for the life I had not been having.
Changed careers, lost weight and simply began living.
Why was I waiting for life to start ...
when all that I needed was to open my heart.

I don’t know why I was apart from life.
I guess I was trying to keep away pain and strife.
Instead I was keeping away the joy and the wonder
along with the passion and the thunder.

In tales of old the girl awoke with a kiss
and no longer had to wait for a prince to do this.
However, I woke up and for my own glory...
I went and found the prince for my very own story.