I have this husband that loves his toys,

He wants everything he sees, just like the little boys.

He never has luck with the toys he gets,

And it always leaves us with many regrets.

He bought a boat and a motorbike that made him beam.

It was the opposite for me; they made me want to scream!

Oh! What bargains, he always found.

That never did work or that weren't very sound.

While he was towing our boat home one day,

The chain came undone and the boat slipped away.

It passed our truck and down the road it flew.

It crossed in front of him, down a hill and in a ditch too.

That boat had holes and dings everywhere we looked.

This has got to be one for the record books!

On its travels it went through three districts alone.

And every officer had to use the phone.

None of them wanted to claim this fate.

The officer from the County, City to State.

Pieces of the motor were scattered everywhere.

We couldn't believe what happened, and all we did was stare.

There was no insurance, so we borrowed from a bank.

To get it out of the ditch, it took a Sherman Tank.

It took forever to get it fixed, but the day had come.

To pick up the boat so we could have fun.

When my husband arrived, he had a shock in store.

All the parts we paid for were stolen six months before.

We told ourselves to forget it, it wasn't meant to be.

He would rather a motorcycle; they're more practical you see.

He looked at many bikes and I mean quite a few.

He finally bought a motorcycle from someone that he knew.

Oh! What a bargain, he thought he had,

But our luck changed from yuck to bad.

He kicked started it inside our garage.

You would have thought it was a flaming fuselage.

The flames went as high as the top of our house.

He pushed it outside where I sat like a mouse.

As the flames went higher, the neighbors came.

Bringing extinguishers to outen the flame.

Soon the firemen with hoses came by.

But the fire was out, just some soot in the sky.

As the chief accessed the damage and knew my husband was mad.

"Gee buddy", I'm sorry we're late but it's really not so bad.

"Two years ago I remember some poor old bloke,

That was traveling down the highway and lost his new boat.

The boat sat alone off the side of the road,

Now that poor old bloke had a heck of a load".

My husband could only stare at this old tub of lard.

"Is that the boat and pointed to the one in our yard"?

The chief's face was red as he looked in disbelief.

But my husband's laughter, soon gave him relief.

"Boy you sure have had bad luck", he said.

And disappeared in the fire truck while his face was still red.

Even I couldn't believe what I saw that day.

OUR LUCK IS THE PITS, WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?

Written  by,

Bonnie Johnson-May