All nights don’t have to be endless
All awakenings rude, all conversation pointless
All relationships do not have to be doomed
From their first fragile steps till the last angry word
It doesn’t have to be this way, oprah would admonish
You can change if you want, dr. phil promises
You are the captain of your own ship, the director
Of your own personal play, this thing you call life
You can do it…did rob Schneider say that
To adam sandler in some pointless movie I watched
Doesn’t matter, the point is that all this positive stuff
Is wearing thin on my pessimistic nature
This half empty glass of booze, I would love to be half full
But it’s not my nature I tell you, I am the mystro of gloom
I know that I will falter between that first step and the aisle
In any relationship I encounter, in any thing I attempt
I know I will open my mouth and say the wrong thing
When the importance of what I say weighs heavy on my tongue
I know….i don’t have to wonder will I fail….i know
I don’t have to ask …will he leave.. I know
Eeyore has nothing on me, I thrive on the rain
I expect all the worst and I always find the pain
So all the pollyannas of the world can unite
And march for happiness and world peace
Me…I’m gonna stock a bomb shelter with supplies
And old national enquirers and star, years of booze
And batteries and be ready for the worst…cause I know

This was written to tease my sister, the original pessimist...she watches the news every night and predicts our eminent doom...