WHERE'S MY CAR? (c) 2006

Deliver me, Lord, from doing it again

I promise I'll look before I walk in.

There's too many numbers for me to remember

From one to sixteen, it's such a vast river!

Too many reds all the same color

Awash in the shades, oh how I shudder.

Greens and blues and dirty whites

Do I turn left, or do I turn right?

Back in the time when there were antennas

Bright smiley faces or even bananas

Could tell this old soul, it's over there

But now, I just stand there wanting to swear!

I look and I stare, the dummy I am

The Sun, for sure is gonna cook this damn ham.

The ice cream is melting no cone to be found

Yet, I just stand there and look all around.

Before I know it the eggs will be boiled

The milk...it will sour; lunchmeats be spoiled

It's all a cookin' in these plastic bags

I can't find my car...oh, what a drag!

I look around and what do I find

Twelve frantic women all neatly aligned.

They stand there in panic; mouths all a gape

Wondering and pondering...should we partake?

Out of nowhere my old brain does kick in

The big red horn on my keychain, that is!

I smashed the alert as hard as I could

And so did the others...car horns went berserk!

The noise level rattled and shattered my thoughts

Now, where do I turn...to which horn do I walk?

Pandemonium set in as we set out to find

Each of our cars, side by side, in the same line.

It wouldn't be so bad if they had been spread apart

One on isle three, the rest scattered about.

But wouldn't you know it, we were still in a stretch

Our cars looked alike, stupid things were bright red!

You can bet your next paycheck this old bird's gonna find

A way to remember, her car she will find

I'm putting it on the South Forty, next time!

It won't be side by side, near red cars in a line!