Published in the Porch Swing Rhyme, 1979

Have you ever bitten the side of your mouth and didn't know what to do?
You couldn't laugh, you wanted to cry and darned near couldn't chew.
You'd stand on your head if you thought that might work,
To erase all the pain from that sudden awful jerk!
My Mom used to tell me that telling lies, oh how it would bring,
Nasty little bumps upon the tongue and boy, would they sting.
Well, I've got news for all to hear,
Those lie bumps I don't fear.
It's teeth that meet upon the tongue, inside and all around,
That send Morse Code and nervous shakes
From the spine all the way to the ground.
The old cliche' "To wag your tongue" is far from appropos,
Cause right now, inside, between the teeth...
Is one giant friggin' hole!