The Ghost of Belmont United Church

There’s a ghost in Belmont’s United Church
I know it as sure as can be;
I know there’s a ghost in the church now
Waiting to jump out at me.

They say every church has a mouse
And that I don’t mind at all;
For a mouse is a tiny wee creature
And hardly trouble, being small.

But a ghost is a different persuasion
It does no harm, but scare;
For when you think you hear him,
He really isn’t there.

I take my job very seriously
As caretaker of this fine church;
And I would not dare to have
It’s reputation put in the lurch.

But I cannot abide a spirit
That does not belong inside;
If you must wander this building
Pray, when I’m here, don’t hide.

I don’t mind the company
While I go about my chores;
But I do abide the hollow steps
And the closing of locked doors.

I do not fancy the thermostats
That are set to keep us just right;
For I know spirits like the cold
But can’t he refrain till the night?

There’s a ghost in Belmont’s United Church
I swear it on my mother’s name;
Though you may think me a little daft,
I wish I knew his name.

At least I could greet him properly
This ghost that calls our church “mine”;
Then maybe he wouldn’t feel the need
To consume our communion “wine”.