At My Age

So

let’s see...

At my age, now,

so,

so what’s so different?

Well...

There’s more salt in my hair than pepper.

An’ I still walk, uh...

kind’a straight

‘cept now an’ then

I get this hitch in my getalong.

Memory...

Uh, what was I saying?

Oh, yeah!

My memory ain’t much worse

then back than when I was...

Uh, what was I saying?

Yeah, I still remember stuff

like...?

Oh, yeah!

I remember,

uh, where’s the toilet?

it’s there...

There?

Then there’s teeth.

Teeth?

Well,

really there’s good an’ bad here.

Bad ‘cause bubble-gum don’t work so good.

Good ‘cause I don’t have toothaches

no-more.

An’ I’m not all that much heavier

now than when I was...

Okay,

so they say

as women age their stomachs go to their butts

an’,

so they say,

when men age their butts go to their stomachs.

Okay, so my butt’s slipped front-side

so now my belly’s like where my butt

used to be,

an’ my butt’s...?

hell I don’t have a butt no-more

‘cause my butt’s where my belly use’t’be.

What else?

Oh, yeah,

I see stuff far away

but not so good close to me.

“sex”

Huh, what’ch’ya say?

Sex!

Sex, yeah...

Always thought

when I stop thinkin’a  sex’ll

be the time I’ll be ready for diein’.

an’ as I ain’t ready to be diein’

I’ve become kind’a like a deranged

kind’a chemist thinkin’...

Hummm?

If I take a half’a’ one those almond colored pills in the mornin’,

you know that pill that’ll maybe’ll give me a four hour erection...

hell, we...

my lady’n me’ll settle for a twenty minute erection.

an’ I take one’a those blue kind’a pills an hour before,

maybe it’ll work an’ we’ll...

hell you know!

Oh, yeah,

an’ I almost always gotta pee.