* Usually don't explain my poems, but this one is special, it's for Josie...A 13 year old girl, who has suffered so much, she lost her mother a few months ago, and struggles to live with the memories of finding her dead..She blames herself..
Rat Dreams
Dreams,
Symbols of hidden reality,
Hidden in meanings
We often do not fathom,
Until it’s too late,
And we are doomed,
To our fate…
But if you listen,
They will tell you things,
Show you a way to bring,
Yourself from the outer dark…
I dreamed of rats,
Swimming in a pool,
Eating all the food,
I didn’t want,
Can’t choke it down,
It sticks in my throat,
Like the words I try to say…
Rats,
Large and ugly,
Yet I look at them without fear,
Until I saw you swimming in the pool,
Trying to escape…
Only then did my heart fail,
And I looked around for a way to save you!
A thin rope hung nearby,
Was it strong enough?
Were you?
I watched as you struggled,
Stifling a scream as they crawled on you,
Seeking escape too…
But your strength of will!
Your love of life,
Gave you strength,
And you pulled yourself free…
You cried on my shoulder,
Saying thank you,
You saved me!
But the truth is my sweet Josie,
You saved yourself!
Pulled yourself from the misery,
And sewer of your life,
You are free now sweet one,
Close your eyes and sleep,
No more nightmares for you!
No more Rat Dreams for me-
The future waits for you!
I see it in your eyes,
You can finally live your life,
As it was meant to be…
whew! I made it. My episode pales in comparison to this.
this reached way down there in my heart and stayed for a while.
I am so glad that Josie has you for a friend. You are full of compassion.
Reviewed by Simon Thurlow (Reader)
Reviewed on May 23, 2004
Amazing how durable kids actually are....especially given the horrors that many of them are forced to face. A wonderful write in tribute to her. She is a tough kid it would seem.
Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson (Reader)
Reviewed on May 21, 2004
Glad the 13 year old is pulling through. Glad your not having the dreams. An awesome poem here for your friend.......
Reviewed by Sanil nath (Reader)
Reviewed on May 21, 2004
This was so excellent write ... Most Beautiful and it got shaped so beautifully as you mentioned ... sometimes more that ... Thanks a lot for sharing this lovely piece of work ...
Reindeer! I'm awed by your ability to write such depth of
the horror someone of that age faces, when they go through
trauma. You are a very compassionate person with a beautiful
heart and wisdom gained from having suffered so much yourself
as a child. This is superb poetry!You must do counseling!
I hope that at this early age she can see her future and be free and live a life beautiful and free,
Touching write
Tommy
Reviewed by Nicole Davis Vergara (Reader)
Reviewed on May 19, 2004
So sad, yet triumphant as well! An excellent piece, and the reasoning behind it makes it even more grand! You my dear friend Rein have a heart and soul I wish all the world could have!!!!
((((Hugs))))
~Nikki~
Retta, tough write but with a sense of hope. We all must save ourselves, and the miracle is that we do have the power inside to do just that if we only realize it. Good write!
Retta, this is a hard read, taxing but exhilaratingly beautiful. You hand out hope with your words . . . words rushing down pathways of our experiences with the dark. Thanks for proving it [unrelenting possibilities abound] with the voice I hear calling through your pen. Keep encouraging! Keep giving hope to all!
Powerfully written, Retta, enabling us to share Josie's pain and your desire to console and heal. It is astounding that children take on guilt for everything that goes wrong in their young lives and we can carry these thoughts with us into our adulthood, assuming responsibility for everything. Josie is blessed to have a loving, patient friend to help absolve her and absorb the grief. Better out than in...internalisation is where the damage can compound. But it will doubtless take much time and a superabundance of "good things" to affirm her. Thank you for the privilege of being allowed to help carry the burden for this young girl with you in some way. I will pray that a complete work of recreation and restoration will go on in her life... God cannot bring her mother back, but He can miraculously remove the pain of the loss, I believe. Bless you and this was astutely written. Kate xx
i can't imagine that horror of finding your own mother dead...what a heartbreaking read! (((HUGS))) to your little friend josie, and to you (((HUGS))) for caring enough to post this courageous write
Very nice use of metaphors here! The analogy works so well. It is difficult to overcome the kind of nightmare your young friend must deal with inside of her mind...eventually the pain and "haunting" will lessen...even if it does always remain somewhere back in the deepest recesses. Yet, as you skillfully display, with strength...it can be overcome and lead to becoming even stronger for the struggle. Well done!
Reviewed by *********** ********** (Reader)
Reviewed on May 19, 2004
So sad....You have written an excellent poem Retta....
You have a good and kind heart......and a hopeful pen......your words are always moving and soulful......and just plain BEAUTIFUL.
As one who works with abused children, I know how tormenting it can be to share in their pain. It is only through the hope and belief that we express in and for them that they can grow strong. Thank you for believing in Josie and for being a mentor and role model. The blessings will be returned to you a thousand fold.
Hugs,
Tami
Reviewed by Thomas Lanechanger (Reader)
Reviewed on May 19, 2004
Always very sad, whenever children are involved, but you have handled it well. Excellent write Poet, and the graphic OH MY, had me standing on the chair! Keep The Faith.
Retta, sad but excellent write. It is something how the mind of a child can take on such a persecution complex. I once heard a little child say, " maybe if I was good mommy would have stayed." To console is a big part of the healing.
Retta, the mind plays ugly games with us sometimes. We can only keep her in our prayers that she finds peace through the storm.
Time will cover the wounds she has suffered, but forgiving herself is hard part.
A touching and frightful write Retta. Lisa
I met Jerome on a busy city street in Baltimore, Maryland, when he was forty-five years old. On that particular day, I was out and about, enjoying a much-needed day off from work.
I wanted to purchase a sukiyaki sub. I parked my car in an area of
Hundreds of excerpts from the archives of the Narcissistic Abuse Study List regarding Pathological Narcissism, relationships with abusive narcissists, and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Hundreds of excerpts from the archives of the Narcissistic Abuse Study List regarding Pathological Narcissism, relationships with abusive narcissists, and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
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this reached way down there in my heart and stayed for a while.
I am so glad that Josie has you for a friend. You are full of compassion.
I'm so proud of you ...
the horror someone of that age faces, when they go through
trauma. You are a very compassionate person with a beautiful
heart and wisdom gained from having suffered so much yourself
as a child. This is superb poetry!You must do counseling!
captured that. Great!
Excellent poem!
Touching write
Tommy
((((Hugs))))
~Nikki~
This deeply touched my heart.
So painfully sad...
Beautifully written...
Trixie :)
a satisfying read,
Marion
i can't imagine that horror of finding your own mother dead...what a heartbreaking read! (((HUGS))) to your little friend josie, and to you (((HUGS))) for caring enough to post this courageous write
(((HUGS))) and love, karla. :( *tears*
You have a good and kind heart......and a hopeful pen......your words are always moving and soulful......and just plain BEAUTIFUL.
ty, Dani
Jack
Hugs,
Tami
PS That is one awesome graphic, Reindeer!
Time will cover the wounds she has suffered, but forgiving herself is hard part.
A touching and frightful write Retta. Lisa
Love Tinka
My heart too goes out to her....
TY for sharing this one.
lady Peg