You keep asking why I fear you,
And I hide from the question,
Because I don’t know how to
Tell you without making you angry
At my lack of belief in the words you say…

Fear,
A word that does not begin
To express the terror that I feel,
Every time you want to talk to me,
I think you are going to leave,
And I have done something to make you
Not be able to see me anymore,
Fear you walking out the door!
Fear you saying good-bye,
Fear you see me
In my dark disguise…

I know I should let you go,
Not hang on you so,
But your presence is something I need,
Something that is trying to bring
Me into a world I left so long ago,
And I don’t remember anything but pain,
The sorrow that nearly drove me insane,
So when you hold out your hand,
Asking me trust the man
That stands before me,
I don’t think you understand
How hard it is to be
Something I never was…
Something I could never do,
Something I am trying just for you…

You keep asking why I am afraid,
You don’t understand,
Because you are so brave!
Letting your trust in me,
Let you down time and time again,
When all you wanted was in,
Where no one has ever been…
I am trying!
My eyes won’t stop crying,
My hands shake when I speak to you,
Soul trembling against its outer shell,
Trying to escape from the hell
I have been in so damn long.
That I have forgotten how to be strong...
And fear the thing you hold before me,
A friendship I will lose,
If I can’t find a way,
To trust you,
To let you in,
To be your friend-
But please believe me,
I am trying so hard to be,
The friend you want me to,
The friend who believes and trusts
The words you speak and say…
Trying to reach out,
And grasp that hand I see,
Trying so hard to be,
What you want of me…
But it ain’t easy,
It ain’t easy baby…