I walk the boundaries of my forest,

Trailing my hand over the tops of the wild mustard,

Blowing lazily in the breeze,

And I am uneasy,

Find no answers in the winding trail,

Find no crumbs of peace

To soothe my soul…


The hawk watching my progress

With its beady eyes measuring every step I take.

Ready to scream at me in its harsh voice

If I dare to cross the line,

I lay my toe against the edge,

And it dives toward my face

Warning me back,

Putting me in my place…

My heart is heavy in my chest,

As I sit down to rest.


The breeze blows a leaf up,

And it turns over and over in the air,

Flipping, and gusting toward my face,

And I freeze for I have seen the darkest of shadows,

And his scent is upon the air,

My eyes are open too wide,

And the sun is burning me blind

But the golden-red leaf comes to rest

In my open palm like an omen from the gods….


I find I cannot lift my head,

Suddenly my neck is too weak,

Yet I know I must,

For his smell is strong

And I feel him as he moves to stand close

Pushing the boundaries of our agreement,

That I would never leave

And he would never stay…

And I see his heavy boot...

Black and hard crushing the earth

But I dare not follow its path

For my heart has ceased to beat,

And my lungs have forgotten how to breathe…


The leaf trembles in my hand

As though it is trying to come alive.

And he leans as close as he dares

And gently blows the leaf from my hand,

And I smell his breath,

Hot and smoky from his long journey,

His very essence smoldering and warm,

On a hot summer day….

And I remember how his lips felt against my neck

How hot and sweet his kisses were…

And I weep for the loss of his love,

Even as my feet stumble backwards

And I flee his touch upon my soul…


I hear him suck in his breath

Muttering a harsh “No!”

As he grabs for me

But he isn’t fast enough,

And I flee before he can speak the words

That would make me stay…


My mind a torrent of memories and tears,

Yet I hear him though the pain;

As he hisses through his teeth, “Wait!”

And despite my desperation,

I pause, and falling to my knees.

Beg him to hear my pleas…

“Let me go, my beloved,

Can’t love you anymore-

Can’t take the pain of you ripping out my heart,

Every day a torment in my life…


One minute my consummate lover

The next a stranger waving goodbye.

You must go or stay,

Choose one, but not the other,

My soul is not as strong as yours,

Not as brave, or bold,

My love, my heart is not as cold-

I don’t have the strength to spend my life alone…


I hear him suck in his breath,

But I am only one to love him,

And he needs more than me

To feed his great need...

He craves the cheers of the arena,

The glory of the champion returning to the ring…

How in the hell can a single woman’s love

Compete with the adoration of the crowds,

The millions who live to love him for a single day,

And I weep bitterly as he walks away…

Not yet able to let it go,

For although he said he loved me,

And I knew it to be true …

There was always all those others,

That he loved too…