Will It Ever End?


My heart so heavy in my chest,
Sitting like a stone under my breasts,
I thought I was getting well,
Finding a way out of this hell,
But it wasn't real,
Still I feel,
This pain that threatens
To drive me insane...

I hide behind a name,
That few can even say,
Hide from the brightness of the day,
In shadows that lurk and play,
Casting strange shapes in my mind,
And I know you think you are being kind,
But this darkness is mine...

I never wanted you here!
Never asked you to ease my fear-
Just wanted to gaze upon the face of the moon,
You came too soon!
I was not ready for you,
Couldn't do what you asked me too...

Now the paths to my heart are barred,
And you my shinning star,
Have returned to your place in the sun,
Our friend ship over and done...

I keep looking down the path,
Seeking you yet fearing your wrath,
That fine tuned mind so damn wise,
The soul to which my heart cries-

Wanting you to return,
Yet fearing the burn,
Which comes with every word you say,
Blazing in my mind every day,
Wanting you to leave,
Yet stay...

Maybe it's better this way,
Didn't some one once say,
Better to have loved and lost,
Then never have felt what it cost
To have someone peek into your soul,
Listen to the secrets no one was suppose to know...

I have stood much too long,
Staring down both roads that lie before me,
Trying to peer around the bend and see
Where each road will lead,
Which path would fill my need...

Trying to decide which way to go,
But my mind is working much to slow,
And my body is weak from lack of sleep,
The sun is going down and the shadows began to creep
Long black fingers beckon to me,
Pointing out things I do not want to see...

I see on one path a waiting friend,
Wondering now will it ever end,
This voice of doom in my head,
whispering softly you're better off dead,
Then reaching for that hand I see...

I remember the stain I put on someone's soul,
God that is a feeling I hope you never know,
Something I must never do again,
And that is why I back away my friend,
Choosing now the darker road to walk,
Where Shadows lurk and stalk,
But no one to hurt but me,
I only hope that you can see,

I need for this to end,
I am weary of hurting you my friend,
And so step forward into the night,
where the moon is such a beautiful sight,
The stars shinning with such soft light,
Lighting the path I choose tonight...

So this is where it ends,
and I see now what was behind the bend,
Smile sadly into the night,
Seeking to finally end this fight-
I reach the place where my world begins,
The only thing I miss is you my beautiful friend...