A Postman's Woes and other Stories


A local letter carrier,
Thinks he's a fearless warrior;
He braves rain and snow,
The wild winds that blow,
And also the ferocious Skye terrier.

I once worked for a Japanese lady,
She told me her name was O'Grady;
She had red hair and freckles,
She paid me in shekels,
They say her past was quite shady.

There once was a lady named Claire,
She did everything with great flair;
She loved attention,
And I ought to mention,
In her hair Ms. Claire wore a flare.

I know a fine lady named Glee,
I wish she would listen to my plea;
She makes me dizzy,
But she's far too busy,
I might as well be a flea.

A miner who lived in the hills,
Came down to the town for some thrills;
He became quite bold,
On girls spent his gold,
When he left he was stewed to the gills.

There once was a speaker of verse,
Whose verses were often quite terse;
He was taciturn,
And when it was his turn,
He buried his nose in his purse.

There's a farmer who lives in the dell,
He wants to marry a belle;
He does not know how,
So he's asked his cow,
She tells him he should learn how to spell.

There once was a fellow named Vlad,
He always seemed to be glad;
Then someone found out,
Why he'd never pout,
Vlad was constantly clad in plaid.

There once was a fellow named Larson,
Who had a stepson named Carson;
He did not know the dad,
And was less than glad,
When he found out it was the parson.

There's a girl who lives in New York,
Who refuses to eat with a fork;
She prefers her fingers,
She says the taste lingers,
And besides a fork is way to much work.


© Copyright 2014 Regis Auffray