She walked into the bar like a summer breeze,

Long blonde hair flowing down to her knees,

And a shape the lord took time to cultivate,

Well her eyes were blue as a Texas sky,

And I saw her smile as she caught my eye,

And I could see my love-life lying in the hands of fate,

Well I’d been drinking I must admit,

But I wasn’t drunk, well just a bit,

I’d had five or six or seven or maybe more,

But I was feeling good, yeah I was feeling fine,

And proud I could walk a pretty straight line,

As I left the bar and strolled across the floor,

She looked up and smiled, as I poured on the charm,

Then I stumbled a little, but caught hold of her arm,

And somehow my watchstrap caught in the back of her hair,

Well she let out a yelp as I tugged it free,

And I was like grease lightning with that apology,

And insisted I buy her a drink, just to make things square,

Well I bought her a vodka and a lemon twist,

Said, “cheers” and tapped her glass but missed,

And my bourbon went straight down the front of her blouse,

Now she wasn’t best pleased, but I was thinking fast,

Said, “Damn would you believe I got a faulty glass”,

And figured we’d sit and laugh about that for hours,

But her sense of humor and mine let’s say,

Sail the same sea but on different waves,

And the look she was giving me now could have froze a flame,

But I’m a big enough man to know when I’m at fault,

So I went to the bar again and bought,

A double bourbon, told the waiter, “keep the change”,

Well he gave his thanks with a twisted grin,

And I was really beginning to dislike him,

‘Cause he had an attitude I can’t abide,

But I resisted the temptation to smack him one,

When he sarcastically asked, "is she having fun?",

‘Cause I thought it best right now if I just let it slide,

But when I got back to the table the girl was gone,

Now I’ve no idea what I did wrong,

But I could hear that barman laughing, would you believe?

So I turned on my heals, and I started on back,

Kinda’ figured I owed that guy a slap,

It was probably him that made the lady leave,

Well I bumped into a table then tripped over a stool,

And somebody yelled, “look where you’re going fool”,

As the drinks they’d bought, spilt all over the floor,

Then the barman came running from behind the bar,

Shouting, “who the hell do you think you are?”

And I can’t repeat what I said to him, but I swore,

Then I swung a punch, but again I missed,

And felt the thud of the barman’s fist,

And a kick that must have broke a rib or two,

Well my teeth were loosened and my lip was split,

And my eyes had swollen into splits,

Turns out he was a black-belt in Kung-Fu,

Well when they let me out of intensive care,

I’m gonna’ find myself a bar somewhere,

Buy a case of bourbon, and drink it through,

‘cause I’m unlucky with money, unlucky at love,

and I sure ain’t lucky at fisticuffs,

I guess I got the talking bourbon blues.

By S.E.Ralph

31-10-2006