The Turnip Uprising

The Turnips in my garden
I think are going to war
they’ve been hording weapons
they’ve not done that before.

While digging by their patch of ground
I found a chieftain tank.
Then I found a land mine sign
nailed to a plank.

I found a case of rifles
some shells and hand grenades
some matrix styled leather coats
complete with Neo shades.

It explains those funny noises
in the middle of the night
the sounds of soldiers marching
and cries of “left” and “right”

The shadows on the garden wall
the raids on nearby farms
the vegetables are rising up
they’re also taking arms.

How long before potatoes join?
The cabbages? The leeks?
Our country could be occupied
in less than seven weeks.

My wife say’s "theres no danger
there’s one thing that you’ve missed
you're a seasoned couch potato
so you might as well enlist".

(c) David Munday