FRACTURED FABLE
# 11 – MOTHER GOOSE
Mother Goose
was very loose
and sometimes it got her in trouble.
She had problems with Jill
trying to get her on the pill
but later her problems would double.
Jack left Jill
sent Mother the bill
ran off with a girl from the shoe.
Jill didn’t tarry
in a hurry to marry
she hooked up with Little Boy Blue.
The three little pigs
nearly flipped their wigs
hearing she had lain with the wolf.
and our own Little Red
said she’d kill her dead
if ever she saw any proof.
Little Miss Muffit
was avoiding the tuffit
cause she was afraid of the spider.
Rewriting the story
put Mother Goose in her glory
in her heart she was always a writer.
Now Jack, (from the beanstalk)
refused even to talk
for fear she’d rewrite his treasure.
The three little kittens
burned up their mittens
as a sign of their displeasure
and Peter Peter
the pumpkin eater
decided to change his ways.
No longer married
his wife now buried
he was simply counting his days.
Humpty Dumpty
had gotten kinda lumpy
after being routinely scrambled.
Now when he walked
or even talked
most often he simply rambled
and Little Bo Peep
who sleeps with her sheep
has been causing quite a stir.
Though Mother Goose
had gotten real loose
she hadn’t expected it from her.
Mary and her lambs
are looking for rams
seems all of em are really horny.
Now all Mother’s lines
and most of her rhymes
seem to sound kinda porny.
Copyright © 2011 Richard Lee King. All Rights Reserved.
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Anna
Love ya!
Jane
ahhh...the ryhmes the way they should be told..to us at least only you could have come up with this.
Budd
Errol Flynn was a rascal all his life. As a teenager, he learned that ducks were loose. So, he tied a piece of greasy bacon to a string, and fed it to one duck after another until he had several ducks strung together. What kind of a Mother Goose rhyme to make of that?
Ron
Anyway, I found this to me very amusing and cool. I was always kinda suspicious of Little Bo Peep, I gotta be honest.
Donna