THEY DO IT ALL AT CARBONDALE

By Donna Swanson) c. 1999

It’s coffee time and the good ‘ol boys

sit and talk of their hopes and joys.

And try to top each other’s tales

of crops ‘n’ yields ‘n’ fish ‘n’ gales.

There’s ‘ol Jim Swarner, head of the clan,

with his Social Security check in hand.

He knows he’s gonna git ribbed to death

‘bout gitten’ rich at their expense.

While Porky just sets there real quiet

thinkin’ how he can start a riot

by sayin’ just the exact right thing

and pullin’ Hoss’ or Hermie’s string.

Everett gripes about the rain

that fell on everbody else’s grain

and left his cornfields high and dry.

He sets and loudly wonders why...

at Carbondale.

Jim Max is chewin’ and cussin’ a sight

‘bout somethin’ or other that ain’t just right.

He’ll chew an’ cuss ‘n’ reminisce,

then argue ‘n’ laugh ‘n’ cuss ‘n’ spit.

Dick walks in and holds the floor,

‘n’ educates ‘em one and all.

Then Cowboy Bill comes strollin’ in

and tells ‘em what the markets did.

There’s brothers,  Hermie ‘n’ Larry ‘n’ Mike,

all talkin’ diff’rent and lookin’ alike.

Hermie allows as how his cows

is needin’ a few more bulls around.

And Porckchops says he can git plenty ‘o’ bull...

at Carbondale.

Jay shows up with pipe in hand,

then Sam ‘n’ Ray come amblin’ in.

The gang’s all here in time to hear

Big John start gripin’ like he does all year.

“Parts too high, markets too low!

Weeds grow too fast, the corn too slow!”

The talk gets loud, the bull runs deep,

the tales are tall and the lies are cheap.

Mac ‘n’ Steve ‘n’ Carl ‘n’ Glen

just sit and chuckle now and then.

Mac looks at Steve with a grin in his glance,

“First liar in here ain’t got a chance!”

Well, Swanson gits up with a mighty groan,

says, “Work’s awaitin’, I gotta go!

You guys can loaf the livelong day,

but some poor fool’s gotta make the hay!”

And the good ‘ol boys has had their say...

at Carbondale.

(In loving memory of the good ‘ol boys gone home)