SLEEPING IN THE BATHTUB

 COPYRIGHT © 2005 LONDIS CARPENTER

Chorus

Sometimes I use the bathtub for a bed

When I need a place to lay my sleepy head

It’s a common thing for me

That I’ve done since I was three

I might use one for a casket when I’m dead

Verse 1

My folks were poor when I was just a lad

With sixteen kids, they barely kept us fed.

The youngest of the lot

No, I didn’t get a cot

Mother let me use the bath tub for a bed.

Verse 2

In college I stayed in a freshmen’s dorm

With three more guys who also shared my home

Though it made my roomies laugh

I slept in the dormer bath

So I wouldn’t hear rude sounds from the bedroom

Verse 3

After college ended I lived all alone

By myself, for I was finally all grown

To save on furniture, instead

Of sleeping in a bed

I slept in my tub quite comfortable and warm

Verse 4

Now I’m married and my woman rules the crib

Where I sleep’s depends on what that gal has said

When I come home at three

She says don’t get in bed with me

And then I use my bathtub for a bed

Fade to

When my wife gets mad at me

And there’ no making woopie

That’s my clue to use the bathtub for a bed

Final fade

When I tell a pack of lies

Then it’s never a surprise

When she makes me use  our bathtub for a bed