Cat, cat, Katmandu
Tell me, have you heard the story
about Katmandu?
Cat, cat, Katmandu
Honna Loa Manu Weeki Oni, Katmandu!

Katmandu was as mean as sin,
he had one glass eye
and sixteen double chins!
(Kat-Kat-Katmandu,
Manna Wanna Auki Hoki Loki Katmandu!)

Katmandu was as big as a house,
he had three peg legs
and looked good in a blouse!
(Kat-Kat-Katmandu...)

Katmandu came from Kublakai,
he was a terror on paws
littered in a pig sty
he had eighteen sisters
and one gay bro'
with coal-white mittens,
the rest as black as snow!
Katmandu never had a real maw,
he was raised by an uncle
and an old macaw,
he could cuss, he could spit,
he could ride on a horse
he could hang upside down
and send signals by Morse!

Kat-Kat-Katmandu
Tell me have you heard the story
about Katmandu?
Kat-Kat-Katmandu,
Heeki Eeki Wammi Auki Nauki Katmandu!

(Did you hear about the pussy
from Shangri-La?
She could do the Watusi
standin’ on one paw!
Did you hear about the kitten
from the land of Mu?
She could say the alphabet
while she tied your shoe!)

Katmandu was the lord of the land,
he often smoked catnip
from his master’s hand.
(Kat-Kat-Katmandu...)

Katmandu had a dog named Beau
he could ride him like a pony
in a dressage show!
He had a black headband
and a sash of blue
He wore an old trench coat
and a garter, new!

(Kat-Kat-Katmandu...)

Katmandu was a pirate cat!
He sailed the seven seas
beneath a stovepipe hat
He had a pretty little kitty cat
in every port
(Including one with fourteen kittens who took him to court!)

(Kat-Kat-Katmandu...)

Katmandu conquered half the world!
He could stare you down
‘til your whiskers curled!
He briefly led China in a Mongol war
and his sister, Little Shu-Shu,
was a big fat

Kat-Kat-Katmandu!
Tell me, have you heard the story
about Katmandu?
Kat-Kat-Katmandu,
Likki Onna Frozen Sticky Brudda Katmandu!

Did you hear about the furball
from Xanadu?
She could sing the Mikado
makin’ love to you!
Did you hear about the widdle tat from ‘lantis way?
He could type 90 words a minute cold
on half your pay!

(Kat-Kat-Katmandu...)

Katmandu was as rich as Trump
(he gets royalties still for inventin’ The Bump)
(Bump, Bump, everybody do The Bump!)
Katmandu owned half of New York,
he started with nothin’,
made his fortune sellin’ pork!
Katmandu had a high IQ,
and he’d always let ya know it
when he spoke to you!

Kat-Kat-Katmandu,
Richie Widdle Stinky Kitty Fart
That Katmandu!
Kat-Kat-Katmandu,
Doggone Fleabait Owes Me Twenny Dolla
Katmandu!

Katmandu was as good as gold
If he had one to give ya,
then he’d share his cold!
He had thirty harem wives
and a concubine named Ling
He had his own fan club
and wore a giant bathtub ring!

(Kat-Kat-Katmandu...)

Katmandu was a tiny little stray
and I took him in and cleaned him up,
then gave him away.
He was twelve feet tall
with a beard ash-white,
Okay, that’s not true ,
I’ll admit it--all right?

Kat-Kat-Katmandu
Whadda Kootie Widdle Puddy Tat
Dat Katmandu!
Kat-Kat-Katmandu,
If I Ever Find Another,
I’ll Send Him To You

Did you hear about the Persian
from Bondai-land?
She could construct
a full-sized pyramid
from wet beach sand!
Did you hear about the calico
from down the street?
She could shimmy like my sister Kate, and it was sweet!
Did you hear about the Maine coon cat from Lau-Lachoo?
Gesundheit!
(Ha! I slipped one past you!)
Didja hear about the little cat
named Katmandu?

(Kat-Kat-Katmandu...)

If not Go And Read It Once Again,
Oh Kat-man-du!