I wake to a pain so intense

It is a pain such as a heart attack

I reach for the phone to dial 911

I can barely breathe

I fall out of my bed and the phone falls out of reach

I crawl to it and dial for help

I feel myself blacking out

In the distance I hear the EMTS come through my doors

Which they had to break because I couldn’t get off the floor

I relent to the pain, close my eyes and float into the dark

I feel my body jerk from the shock by the EMTS

My next awareness of consciousness in a hospital bed

With three doctors by my bed looking puzzled

They ask me if I have ever had heart problems

No I tell them, never

The look at each other

Your lab results do not show any trace of heart issues

Does anyone in your family have heart issues? They ask

No I say. They look even more puzzled.

Well get some rest and we will run more tests tomorrow.

They leave and I am all alone

Alone in my hospital bed, now in the dark

I feel the pain creeping back on me

I feel tightness in my chest, I can’t breath

I feel tears on my cheeks

I ring the bell for a nurse who comes in

She checks my vitals on the monitor

And tells me she sees nothing that will indicate my pain

I cry harder than before

She sits in the chair next to my bed and takes my hand

She looks me in the eyes and says to me

Child, did you just have your heart broken?

I look at her not knowing what to say.

I have seen these symptoms before

It has been fifteen years but I remember like yesterday she says.

Is it possible that your ailment is a broken heart?

I cry harder, it occurs to me then that I woke from slumber

Due to the nightmare I had of my lost love happy with another.

I cry harder to the soothing voice of my nurse

Cry child, get it out. That is the only remedy.

There is nothing worst than a broken heart my child

No doctor or hospital can treat that for you

I am sorry you will have to take care of it yourself

You need to start by accepting that it has happened

Cry as hard as your body, mind and soul ask for.

That is the only way you can get over it.

I feel horrible, I feel like I am being attacked for within.

How long does this go on I ask my ever knowing nurse

Honey it can take just tonight or a life time

God I hope not I think

I do not want to feel this way for ever

I will not wish it on my worst enemy

I ask her why then do people say it is better to have loved and lost it

Than never to have found love?

I would rather be loveless than have to find love, loose it and feel

Like my heart is going through a shredder.

My child everything we do in life

Is for love or in the pursuit of love.

Without love we are nothing and nothing moves.

Another love will come in

And you might have to go through this all over at some point

What matters is that you figure out how to deal with it and move on

Get some sleep and allow the pain to consume you

Cry it out as much or as long as you have to so it flows out

Tomorrow is another day. Don’t regret the love you shared and lost

Carry the memories and let them shine

As one of the beacons of your life.

I go to sleep with the words of my Angel nurse

Hoping that tomorrow brings a brighter and better day.