A funny little poem for all the Mystery and Fun Lovers

The Mystery 

I hear a noise, who’s there! I shout

And listen, intently, to the smallest sound

No answer, no reply?

Can you at least tell me why?

I start running through the house

This noise wasn’t caused by any mouse

Up the stairs and down the stairs

My heart is beating in despairs

I look and seek

In every room I peek

Who’s there, who’s here

I’m scared oh dear, oh dear

The basement door I find unlocked

I pause, I think I’m shocked

Should I go or should I stay

What will be crossing there my way?

The fear it grips me tight

My head it spins, not thinking right

The phone I fetch,

Dial 911, for the intruder to catch

I say hello I have a burglar here!

Stay in the line, we’re busy dear,

Oh no, don’t put that line on hold!

Be patient! I am now told.

Oh me, oh my, what shall I do?

All my beer is there, my precious brew!

In the basement, not hidden well

Any burglar will find it, I can tell

I still stand by that cellar door

On my ear the phone, the line seems to roar

Now music plays while I’m on hold

We’ll be right with you I am told

I can not wait for them to act

My nerves by now are wrecked

I need a plan, I need to fight

For my brew to keep is my right!

A shotgun do I have upstairs

So I put my motion in reverse

Retrieve the gun and shells

Watch out you scum, you’ll hear my bells!

I slam that phone back on the hook

Alone I will fight this crook

Slowly I pry open the door

So afraid, can almost breathe no more

I go down the cellar steps

One by one, don’t have a lot of peps

Gun held out in front of me

Give up, you thief, I’m warning thee

I find my brew, all safe and sound

No burglar here that I could pound

Just the neighbors cat

Grinning at me, big and fat

That was a nasty scare you beast

But you didn’t touch my brew at least

Go home, be gone, get out

I angrily shout and pout.

The cat is gone, the house is quiet

I grab a bottle and call my friend Wyatt

We drink the brew and have some fun

I’m calmer now, the scare is gone.

 

By Birgit and Roger Pratcher

© May 2006