The Bulldog was walking, alone down the street
Came across a puppy in the garden, alone
The puppy was sobbing, and looking so sad
It was clear this was not a good home

"What's wrong little fella?" The Bulldog asked
"Why it's a beautiful sunny day"
"I'm sad 'cause i'm locked in behind this gate
"My master just won't let me out to play"

"I've got an idea," the Bulldog replied
"How to get him to open this gate
Tonight when he's eating his dinner
You must jump up and pee on his plate"

"Are you sure this will work," the puppy says
"Yes, just do it and you'll soon be free
I will come back tomorrow, to see how you are
Why, you can even come play with me"

So next day the Bulldog returns to the scene
But the puppy is howling in pain
"Did you do like I said?" The Bulldog asked
"Yes, and he beat me again and again"

"Well you must do it once more," the Bulldog states
"Only this time you must do it with a pooh"
"You must be mad, you wrinkly old hound
'Cause I may end up, looking like you"

                     G J Tate