A Parting Gift

I thought I would die, the day we finally parted

Though, truth be known, your heart had gone cold

Long before I met you

In the wonderful days of lust, you allowed a spark

To kindle a small flame in your battered heart for a time

But when you needed to give more, when you needed to make a space for love

When you needed to trust, you recoiled and locked again the gates to your wounded soul

Your heart is empty, except for the darkness of fear

Which hides itself amid the cobwebs that it not be awakened

The light of love makes you cringe and shrink back into the basement

Of your childhood dreams where, perhaps for a moment, you recalled a gentle touch

But as the sunlight peeked through the windows striking at the darkness

Reality awakened you and the scars of your bitter memories

Began, once again, to bleed the blackened blood of disillusionment

Trust no one, and you shall not be disappointed

Give little and never take so you will not again feel the sting of loss

Remain solitary amid the crowd and damn those who befriend you

Live a life in anger and sorrow that the sun may never warm your soul

Shun your family who stood aside and watched as your young life was threatened

By the angry rages of an alcoholic father, who the little boy had mistakenly trusted

While he punished you for owning your mother’s love

A lifetime later, you still live within the cage of an alcoholic childhood

Your home is a beautiful palace at the top of a hill, so close to heaven, yet

It, like you, is empty except for the external shell that you show the world

You judge your worth by the money you have made and your value by your possessions

Yet you have never found your soul amid your darkness

I loved you once; I thought in losing you, that a piece of myself would be lost as well

But on that bitter October day, when you would not look at me as I said goodbye

I realized that you were only releasing me to live my life in the sun

Sherry Gail Heim

July 5, 2004

Copyright © Sherry Gail Heim 2004